Life Coaching in Russia

Periodically I need to write in more detail about some of what is happening here in one or more areas of ministry, and that is my task today.

My ministry in Russia is multifaceted, and though it all fits together, today I want to tell you more about the way God has allowed us to begin what we trust will become a large movement of Christian life coaching. But first I need to explain a little more about what life coaching is and why I consider it critical towards what I understand God to be calling me to accomplish in St. Petersburg and beyond.

Life coaching has both Christian and non-Christian schools, but of course I follow one of the former. In that context, the aim of coaching is to help a person discern God's work in his life, where and how to move forward, and set realistic goals and action steps to fulfill that call. It can be applied in personal growth, in relationships, and in a professional context, as the coach is an expert in the change process, rather than an expert in a given field. The process and the results can be powerful because:
transformation is primarily experiential, not informational;

• God initiates transformation through real, everyday life experiences;
• effective coaching flows out of mental, emotional and spiritual maturity;
• each person is a uniquely designed individual whom God has entrusted with a stewardship over his or her own life;
• authentic relationships are foundational to leadership growth and abundant living.

I had a private practice in Christian counseling in Virginia from 1997 until we moved to Russia in 2007. In 2006 I got certified in life coaching through Lifeforming Leadership Coaching. The impact on me was tremendous personally, and when I added it to my practice, the impact on my clients was also powerful. I realized that not only was coaching to be an integral part of my ministry in Russia, but that it was a key to re-building a culture of mentoring, discipling, and - my favorite term - spiritual fathering.

Russian soil was very fertile for just this concept. On the one hand, the concept of coaching generically speaking had just begun to penetrate the business world, and to a lesser extent the Christian world, so that the demand is there. On the other hand, there is almost no one who does coaching, and that primarily in Moscow. No one does Christian coaching.

We attend the church we do essentially because of the relationship I formed with Igor Sokolov, the pastor, while we were both getting certified at Lifeforming. I saw Igor as a forward-thinking, missions-minded man with a vision to use coaching as well as other creative approaches to reaching the city. He had already built a reputation as a leader in developing a small group movement nationwide. He had a track record, and he had already begun to translate the materials into Russian and to train his staff.

Working together as the only two Christian life coaches in Russia both inspired us and helped us move forward, since the task was so large. We began by continuing the translation process and the training of his staff, and we added in students (staff) from the Harbor. That original cohort is now about 2/3 of the way through the 40 week program, and we are just ahead of them in the translation process, which includes a host of audio files in addition to over 300 pages of written material. Igor and I have also begun a second group, this time consisting of students from my other trainings, many of whom are in orphan ministry.

As you can imagine, even with all the volunteer help we have had, to do this job professionally has required professional help, and we have gotten a generous grant from the Des Plains Foundation to help us get this far. It looks like we need about another $3000 to carry it through the final printing stage. We are also nearing agreement with the St. Petersburg Christian University to offer this training under their umbrella, which gives us both more credibility.

Eventually we see this movement growing out of the Christian community and into the business world as a great tool for evangelism. We also intend for the teaching to go nationwide. The potential is huge, but we are starting slowly and intentionally so that we lay a good foundation.

How do we know that God has His hand on this project? Take Nastya, for example. I have written about Nastya before, a key member of our Orphans Reaching Orphans project. Our main purpose in this ministry is to help orphans find their calling in Christ and to fulfill that with excellence, then to help others do the same. Coaching provides just the relational skills needed to do this. Nastya is one of my newer students, and I see her grow in her understanding and application of coaching every month. She recently told me about a young person named Lena whom she has been discipling for quite some time. Whereas in the past Nastya would have just given advise and told Lena what she needed, now she is using questions more and more to cause Lena to reflect on her own about why she does what she does, to consider taking ownership of her own growth (rather than put it off onto others), and to take seriously her allegiance to Christ. No one else is speaking into Lena's life this way, and Lena is responding. So much so that Lena has recently confessed to having suicidal thoughts. Nastya has helped her understand the need for counseling, and Lena will now be coming to me for deeper work. Just one way we team off of each other. Pray for Lena.

Inna, also a member of our Orphans Reaching Orphans team, also uses coaching regularly with the young adult orphans she mentors. As she puts it, "coaching is such a perfect fit alongside counseling as a way to come alongside these young people. The one helps them overcome the lies of the past. The other helps them forge a future with hope."

In fact, in Trinitarian fashion, I see coaching training as part of a larger framework for discipling leaders that God has given me:

• Soul Care: counseling, about which I have written more here 
• Spirit Care: spiritual formation training for lifelong growth in intimacy with Christ
• Body Care: life coaching, which is about effective application of God's word and call in real life.

I have other materials that I use in each area which I can share with those interested. The point is that I consider personal transformation to be dependent on how well we master each area. One is not sufficient. So my ministry in Russia at this stage is about empowering leaders in all three, because I am of the conviction that an exponential effect will result in them personally as well as in their circles of influence.

The heart of my work in all of this is a desire to see Russia overcome its "orphan spirit" and come to know God as Father. Therefore, I and my family have a significant ministry to orphans, particularly older ones graduated from the state system, and to ministries and leaders that serve orphans.

I hope this gives you more depth of understanding into our ministry here. If you are interested in giving towards this project or towards our ministry generally, then the best way is to click here. In any event, you will have a better idea how to pray, whom to forward this link to, and how to share with others about us. All of those are great ideas!

TPM in Russia

I had a private practice in Christian counseling and (later) life coaching in Virginia from 1997 until we moved to Russia in 2007. Although I had an Masters of Social Work which got my foot in the door to a group practice, from the very beginning I leaned not to my secular training but to training I had received in Richmond in Biblical counseling as the foundation for my work with clients. I considered my practice successful in the great majority of cases, because God is good to honor His Word when we choose to honor His Word.

In 2001 I was invited to get trained in Theophostic Prayer Ministry, which I had never heard of before, but because I respected the pastor who invited me, I attended. My practice would never be the same again. After only a day and a half of video lectures, I came back and started using what I had learned with astounding results. My very first client that Monday was a lady who was a compulsive shopper. In that first session, she found a root lie controlling her behavior, and God spoke His truth to her in a way that she was (either that day or soon thereafter) completely set free from her addiction.

In those days the founder, Dr. Ed Smith, did not teach as he does now, that practicing in a group setting for a whole year is the best way to master the ministry. God just gave me the grace for it to work immediately with me, since there was no group or other peers doing it. I consider that my background in Biblical counseling was a firm foundation, and I continue to teach its principles to this day. TPM does not teach us everything we need to know about how change happens in the soul, but I consider it a major tool that God has given to the Church in these days.

When I moved to Russia in 2007 with my family, I realized that I was not sent to have a counseling practice, but that I was to train others. The need for counseling in Russia is overwhelmingly large, to a great extent due to the national trauma it sustained during the Soviet years of atheism and of state terror. The atrocities of Stalin's day are very much an undercurrent to the state of the Russian soul today.

In fact, in Trinitarian fashion, I see counseling training as part of a larger framework for discipleship of leaders that God has given me:

• Soul Care: counseling, with a special emphasis on TPM
• Spirit Care: spiritual formation training for lifelong growth in intimacy with Christ
• Body Care: life coaching, which is about effective application of God's word and call in real life.

I have other materials that I use in each area which I can share with those interested. The point is that I consider personal transformation to be dependent on how well we master each area. One is not sufficient. So my ministry in Russia at this stage is about empowering leaders in all three, because I am of the conviction that an exponential effect will result in them personally as well as in their circles of influence.

The heart of my work in all of this is a desire to see Russia overcome its "orphan spirit" and come to know God as Father. Therefore, I and my family have a significant ministry to orphans, particularly older ones graduated from the state system, and to ministries and leaders that serve orphans.

So now to the history and development of Theophostic Ministry in Russia. Even though TPM began in 1995 and exploded around the world, it is a baby in Russia.

When Dana Evans and other leaders in their church-plant in Ekaterinburg, Russia heard about TPM in 2006, they immediately felt it was an answer to prayer as an instrument in helping the Russian people deal with life's hurts. They began to study, and a team was soon formed to train facilitators for ministry. As the training continued, the need became evident to have the materials in the Russian language. Dana Evans and Douglas Davis contacted Dr. Ed Smith (founder) about this need, and he gave permission for the translations, which began in 2009.

I learned of the team in Ekaterinburg early after moving to Russia. As soon as the DVD's of the basic training were ready, I started my first group of trainees in the summer of 2010. Now after over a year of training and practice with each other, some of the original group are now helping me lead two new groups of trainees. These two groups include Christian psychologists and many volunteers from a well-known Christian prayer hot-line.

After a lot of volunteer help as well as donations for translating and editing, we are done with that phase of the project. Formatting and printing the book will cost $3,500, with about $900 left needed to complete the project. Many TPM trainees are waiting to get a copy of this book in their language in order to be more effective in this ministry.

How do we know that God has His hand on this project? I put out one notice when I started training last year, and everything has been word of mouth since. Since the training is about more than just knowledge, all students must receive and learn to give ministry to each other. I am constantly amazed at the power of God to change hearts, behavior patters, emotions, and heal relationships as a result of one encounter. Two recent examples:

Ludmilla had been attending sessions for several weeks when she offered to let me lead her in a session as a demonstration for the class. The pain that came out in that one hour was intense, and it was clear she had a life time of pain, abuse, broken relationships, and sin. She was not ready to face the real lies at the bottom that first day, but God gave a small measure of comfort and grace to come back a second time. That next week she discovered one such lie that controlled her - that she had to control others' reactions to her. God opened her eyes (for it's not only head knowledge that counts, but experiential knowledge that reaches the heart that does), and she radiated with joy at seeing how she had been deceived for so long. Not only did she start relating to others better, others have reported that she has a joy that that had never seen her have before. And a curious side-effect: a chronic sub-normal body temperature has now been healed.

The second example is not one I conducted. In fact I was even there and don't even know what the story was. I had to be gone from class recently to attend something else, but since I had two others whom I could count on to lead it (from my first group), I didn't mind. It's hard to relate the satisfaction it was for me to walk in at the end of class to see hugs and tears of joy at experiencing the Father's love and gift of Truth. I found out later that this woman appears to have had her diabetes healed at that moment, as her blood sugar is at a normal level for the first time in years. (I'm not an expert here, but she said that the rule is that if your blood sugar is normal for three weeks in a row, that is the confirmation.) The miracles never cease to amaze me.

Students now stay late after class (which itself lasts 2.5 hours) for another hour for tea and conversation. They are bonding, they are passionately engaging the material, and they are so excited about what they are experiencing and witnessing that they can't stop telling their friends. Everyone wants to know when the next group is.

If you are interested in giving, then the best way is to click here and make a note in the comment section that it is for the TPM translation project. We are hoping to go to print this month.

The power of mentoring

Here is a letter I wrote to someone I've hardly thought about in over 10 years, but God brought him back to mind recently when I was giving Natasha (a young graduate from the Harbor) a testimony of God's work in my life and marriage. I've had to track him down, and I still haven't gotten confirmation that he has even received it.

John, 
I'm hoping you will remember me from CCTC [Christian Counseling Training Center] in Richmond. You were a counselor in training when I was taking Biblical Problem Solving, and you got assigned to me. You came up spontaneously in a testimony I was giving to a young person I mentor recently, and I decided the Lord would have me track you down and tell you about it. 
You see, personal discipleship has become a cornerstone of my ministry now. I went through two and a half years at CCTC myself and continued to use the principles I learned there in my own private counseling practice before leaving Richmond. Now that I have moved my family to Russia as missionaries, I have even taught BPS myself, but what is more important is that I have come to see that what was so transformational about that class for me was the personal mentoring that came with it. 
Now I work with a number of leaders, pastors, counselors, and (most dear to my heart) orphan graduates, and my whole ministry focus is on those aspects of our faith walk that require the personal input of another, ideally in a learning community: counseling, coaching, and spiritual formation. So one of these orphans who has been coming to me for mentoring and to one of my groups for over a year was asking me the other day about some of my history, including about my marriage. 
I related how difficult my marriage had been early on, and how BPS had been so helpful for me to learn how to see my own culpability in the problems we faced. But I then began sharing how the key ingredient had been my "grader" who had been so invested in me. I told her how he obviously could tell what a crisis I was in, and so he generously would pick me up from time to time in his pickup and I would sit in his mobile office while he would take me around nowhere in particular and let me pour out my heart. He patiently listened and gently pointed me back again and again to the lessons I was learning in class and in the revelations God was giving me through my "self-confrontation" homework. I don't remember any powerful new wisdom that came out of those times. What I remember was that he cared enough to invest in me. 
All of a sudden it hit me that this was exactly what I am now doing with so many lives, and that you had modeled it to me so long ago, planting a seed, not only of my own marital transformation, but of my future calling, and I started to cry right there in front of this young person (which I'm not known for). It was an overwhelming sense of God's goodness to me and sovereign hand in my life, and it gave me a tremendous feeling of thanks and praise to Him. 
So how could I not share that with you? In fact, when I told my wife about it, it turns out she had never heard about you either. She knew that that class had been a turning point in my life, but she didn't know about the secret weapon that God sent with the class. Thank you, brother, for your obedience to the Lord at that time. He used it more than you know. I trust that you have sown many more great seeds since then. I'd love to hear more about them. 
Your brother in Christ, 
 Lyle

Nastya - before and after

I have written several times about Nastya, but here is a short summary of our history with her and how she came to work with me in our new ministry: Orphans Reaching Orphans.

The Transformation of Nastya The Nastya I met was right after we moved to Russia in 2007. She was already a few years out of the Harbor (a residential ministry for orphan graduates) at that time, and she had come back to take an English class that I had been asked to teach. Nastya stood out to me, and we got to know each other slowly. She struck me as extraordinarily thoughtful, hungry for growth, perceptive about people, and personally engaging.


Little did I know at that time that the other Nastya - the one whom the Harbor had inherited in 2004 - looked nothing like this person. She came to them from a “correctional” orphanage, which meant that she was considered mentally delayed. Once you get a diagnosis of any sort in a system like this, it's all over. You're stuck there for life, and no one tries to treat you any way except what your papers say you are. When she applied to the Harbor, she met none of the benchmarks that were needed to accept her into the Harbor (cognitively or otherwise), so the psychologist rejected her outright. 


In the nearly four years I have known Nastya, she has always struck me as a person who is serious about her relationship with Christ, and the depth of that relationship has only grown. I find that in every question, what is most important for Nastya is, “what does God want?” Her faith is remarkable for someone of her age (26). 


By contrast, the Nastya who came to the Harbor had little more than a vague sense that there was a God. She had a drive and dream to be somebody, and that was what told her that she wanted to move to the Harbor. When they rejected her application, she ended up living in a dorm for the first month of college, but she was so convinced she needed to be at the Harbor that she prayed, “God, if you exist, then make it work for me to come to the Harbor.” Two days later she got invited in. Nastya's true self was so hidden behind a wall of lies about who she was from years in an institution that no one at the Harbor could even recognize Nastya's potential. Harbor staff nonetheless invested countless hours in her until the real Nastya began to emerge. As Nastya has told me, she came with a completely closed heart, but it was impossible to keep it closed when the staff were so open and loving themselves. She opened up and blossomed despite her best efforts! Sometime in those two years, Nastya had to admit that God was real, that Jesus loved her and died for her, and that she owed Him everything in return. Nonetheless, she resisted baptism for a whole year after that, realizing that it was like getting married – the most serious commitment she would ever make. 


We started inviting Nastya over to our place within a few months of meeting, and she quickly hit it off with our daughter Lydia. They would go on walks together; Nastya would take Lydia on outings around town; and they shared a love of clothing design. Besides just liking Lydia, Nastya wanted to give back to us for our hospitality by helping Lydia with her Russian. Nastya would stay late, and we'd talk about God, her place in life, and relationships. She seemed to have a natural bent and inclination in counseling, so she was fun for me to talk with. Her appetite for meaningful conversation is voracious. 


Outside the Harbor, Nastya is the kind who gets along with most everyone, and many of her fellow graduates from the Harbor seem to turn to her for wisdom and guidance in life, relationships, and work. At least this was an area where she could function on her own. As one of the most senior graduates of the Harbor (founded in 2002), she has a large network now of young adults. 


Now Nastya became the 1st member of a new team God has called me to start called Orphans Reaching Orphans. Our mission is to build bridges of relationship with Harbor and other orphan graduates that model the love of the Father, encouraging healing, growth, the pursuit of dreams, and generosity. Its a wonderfully organic ministry. I mentor and train Nastya and the others on the team, and they, in turn, reach out to orphans who are out on their own but often without the life skills, relationships, and purpose to help them see and fulfill God's purposes for their lives.


Details on Orphans Reaching Orphans are here. 

To contribute to our ministry to orphan graduates, you can click here.

Yuri - searching for home

 I have written several times about our relationship with Yuri, but I thought it would be helpful to summarize our history here in one place for you.

Yuri was in the English class I taught at the Harbor (a residential ministry for orphan graduates) when we first moved here in 2007, and he was so strong compared to the rest of the class, that he made it near impossible to teach to the various levels. After a few months, we thought of a solution: send him over to our house for personal tutoring. To this day Yuri still speaks English with us much of the time, but our times quickly became much more than tutoring.

Yuri ate with us, played with the boys (rather awkwardly at first!), just hung out, and showed me a different side of the guy that was apparently a lot of trouble for the Harbor. In this context, I could see that he was a young man hungry to learn and grow, and so I started to mentor him. What was even more impressive was the topic he chose to be mentored on: becoming a godly husband. And that is exactly what we talked about most every week for over two years, using a study I wrote for husbands based on Ephesians 5 as a basis. As Yuri explained it, “I have no model for a father or husband in my life, so I need to learn what that looks like.”

Not only does he learn from our conversations and my material, but he is an astute observer. He notices how we live, how we interact with one another, hears our tone of voice, and witnesses our love for each other, how we discipline the kids, and the occasional marital spat. And the questions! He wants to understand it all, and he seems to really appreciate having someone to help him process all the thoughts, questions, and doubts in his busy brain.

Before coming to the Harbor, Yuri had lived at the only Christian orphanage in St. Petersburg. Before that, he had been in and out of home with his mother, who largely ignored him. He spend several months at one point living on the streets and begging for food at the train station.

When we met Yuri he was living at a dorm while in school, but the remains of his childhood home became available to him soon, and he started dreaming of fixing it up for him and his sister. I went with him one day to help him fix it up. We peeled of about 8 layers of wall paper, and I found myself wondering how he would make it work, there was so much to do. The three-room wooden structure was half of a duplex that had been abandoned for 10 years due to a fire. Now it had no electricity, water, or heat.

Through a gracious gift, our daughter Lydia decided to give him the money to fix up his wood stove, which he did. But rather than things getting better from there, they got worse. The neighbors complained of the smoke, the authorities forbad him from using it, and he abandoned the place in despair, soon disappearing from our lives too.

Lydia's gentle and frequent prodding through Facebook eventually brought him back after several months, and things looked up for a while. He had a job and a new plan to fix up his home. After several more months of work, he found that the bureaucrats who could decide the fate of his lost utilities were not going to budge on what they claimed was a back-debt and fees for all those ten years of $3000 ($4000 if you want them to speed things up, if you know what I mean). Then come the repairs themselves. Yuri abandoned hope again - and us - for a long time.

When he finally showed up again, I had to press him on this pattern, and he confessed that he is ashamed to be around “successful” people when he is such a failure himself. The good news is that Yuri is still coming now in the midst of a personal housing, job, and financial crisis that he can't figure out how to resolve. He told me recently that he appreciates my helping him sort through his confusion and think and pray through options.

Although Yuri still feels like a “bad example” of a Christian in his mind, he is an influence on his friends. I told him all this investment in him was not just for his sake. So recently he even told me he's ready to disciple one of his friends if I can help him explain the gospel to the guy.

That's moving in the right direction, if you ask me. 

My best birthday card ever

My birthday was yesterday, and the wife and kids treated me beautifully. Woke up to a Southern breakfast that included sausage gravy, which I never get around here. Came home at the end of the day to a wonderful cheese fondue dinner, and Yuri joined us for this and for some games the kids organized for us all. That's me in the middle rolling an egg. Much fun was had by all.

I just have to share Kerith's card, as I think it's the best I've ever gotten. [Note: I always take the kids to Waffle House or McDonald's on their birthday.] Here is what it said:

Happy Birthday, Dad!
This is a very special birthday because it involves great memories instead of presents. After a few months you will realize this birthday is impossible to forget. I personally did my hard work to show my thanks to you for loving and caring for me. Your kindness is beyond measure. You're the best dad a boy could ever have. Sometimes I can't decide which is better, you or Mom. And that's how I feel right now. I'm lucky to be your son. I mostly enjoy the times when you and me are alone. Having a good laugh and having a godly discussion is just great. I really enjoy those times and will for the rest of my life - he! Wouldn't it be a surprise if I took you to Waffle House or McDonald's sometime when you are in  your 70's. I might. 


Love,
Kerith

Towards God's heart for Russia

Journaling has become a revolutionary way for me to get in touch with the heart of God for me, for circumstances, and for ministry. Here is a recent example that touches on the heart God is giving me for orphans in Russia. The context is work I was doing this summer on a broad vision statement for ministry.

Here is what I told God in prayer:

I really want the vision I run with to be from your heart, so I feel I should submit everything to you in journaling, so that you can tell me if and where I am off base. I am wiling to be very far off base so that your will be done. My intellect is nothing compared with your inspired thoughts and vision. So I lay down what I have written and ask you to fill the space. 

Son, your vision is good and full of much that is on my heart. Just continue to work on it with your new insights from your new learning and lean to me more than ever before. The best part is in the details, and so there is still much that we can work on together in closer partnership that will give even more passion to the final result. There is more to come that you don't see yet, and I want to be your source for all of that. You have not yet begun to see the potential of this vision, and I want to fill you with such a sense of anticipation that it will drive you to do whatever you need to to see it happen. There is more to come, and I have a big heart for Russia. I love that country, and it is full of people with hearts that are crying out for me. They are full of such pain, and you have a piece of what I want to give to them.... Dwell with me in intimacy, and I will fill you with my heart that breaks for the Russian people. I love them, died for them, and I will see them raised up to a place of honor in the world. They have much left to contribute to the Kingdom, and they have not yet begun to realize that potential that is bound up in their hearts They are closed to me and my ways for now, but that will change. You can be a source in me of new hope for them. There is an entire army to be raised up that will show the way to this new future. This army will serve not with big ideas but with big hearts and they will show how to love sacrificially for the sake of building up others.... Show them how to love, and they will love even unto death. I have spoken, and I will cause it to come to pass. You must only come to me with all burdens and I will give you rest, direction, and hope. This of course too big for you, but I will cause it to be. This is for my whole Church to perform together. My children will hear my voice, and they will respond to this call for humility in service. There is a cry to go out through the land that our God is an awesome God, and he rules from heaven on earth. I will see my kingdom established in Russia, and it will amaze the peoples of the earth to see me really ruling in a place that was a laughingstock to the world. They pretend to be something, but I will tear that pretense down and build in it's place a sense of true calling and honor among the nations. Russia is a great nation. I love her, and I will see her come to her place. Yes, it is a good thing, and I will move in the hearts of men to see it pass. There is a dark side to Russia that will also be in operation at the same time. This dark side will grow in the hearts of men as well, and it will take over at some point, but I will see to it that my people, called by my name, will humble themselves and receive from me the kind of power and authority on high that will shake things in a way never seen before. I will cause the powers to see the authority that my Church has on earth. They may not bow to it, but they will not be able to deny it. This will be an awesome thing to behold.

Talk to me, Lord, about your heart for the family, biological and spiritual, and what you are doing to bring transformation.

Families are a mess, and it breaks my heart. Fathers are absent or worse, and I hate to see what it does it my children. How I want to grab them up into my arms and hold them so they can feel my love! There are way too many orphans in Russia. This is a travesty, and their leaders will answer for their treatment of these dear ones. My Church must rise to the occasion and not consider themselves limited to do anything. The orphan spirit is the single greatest threat to Russia at this moment. I see a day when the Body of Christ will see itself as the primary caretaker of families, where the Body will be come a family. Where churches are true families of faith. This is what must happen for there to be an end to the orphan spirit. Fathers must rise up, families must rise up, and families of faith must rise up to take their place at home and in society. Fathers are the key, but they are not where to begin. Fathers much be found and raised up to learn how to lead their homes with love and compassion. Mothers much be found who can learn to love, to trust, and to lean on me for their every breath. This will be the key to finding the fathers that will be raised up to father a new generation. 

What does this have to do with churches, Lord?

It should have everything, but my church is not much of a family today. It is a clubhouse, and this must be broken. You are doing the right thing to want to create a parallel structure for raising up families. There must also be an outreach component in them to the churches to help educate them so they will develop an hunger for a true family. 

How do we create that hunger, Lord?

I will create the hunger in them when they see your example. Your main job is merely to testify to what is happening in your groups as I show up and heal entire families through these fellowships. This is all you need - testimony. 

Do we need to do something in churches, for the churches's sake?

No, your job is to create a place where healing can take place, and the church will be transformed into a loving family when they see what family can look like. 

From France into Frenzy

The blessings that came during our time of rest and refreshment in France were tremendous. It was an amazing time of total rest for a full month in a setting the could not have been more to our tastes and needs. The ins and outs of what we did are here, and some of the great spiritual blessings are recorded here.

We return to what seems to be an almost predictable battle. Nearly everything about our lives are in question:

• Our washing machine has kicked the can;
• Our internet has had numerous challenges, and two pieces of hardware died;
• Our ability and desire to stay in our apartment is more in question than ever, given its increasing decay, the lack of support in fixing things from the owner, and her general distasteful attitude about things;
• We have to start our residency process all over again now, which you may remember was a huge process three years ago. The good news is that, if we get it, it will give us stability for 5 more years;
• We are changing our kids' school schedules, bringing Kerith home full time, and Simon will be down to 2 days a week in Russian school. Schedules and tutoring are not all nailed down.
• I've been in prayer about where God wants me to focus this fall, because I have new opportunities and only want to go where He wants me;
• Yuri disappeared and has re-appeared again, but he's in a real battle for a place to call home.
• Our biggest battle, however, is surrounding the new Orphans Reaching Orphans project. My sense is that it is so potentially powerful that the Enemy could not leave it alone. Beyond a difficult funding atmosphere so far, the far greater concern is a relational breakdown on the American side that is wreaking havoc. Suffice it to say that it is painful, difficult, and chaotic, which God is not the author of. I have been in intense prayer over it, and I feel that God has given me good direction, which mainly has to do with walking in love and humility, but I need all the prayer I can get here. The project itself is off to a great start.  

I hate socialism

Yuri, our long-time former orphan graduate from the Harbor, turned up again after a few months absence.  We have always had an open-door policy with him, and he usually comes once a week for mentoring and dinner. The kids were thrilled to see him. We were happy too, but we had to understand what was really going on.

His reason: life has been hard lately - no job, and a difficult living situation, and when things go poorly for him, he feels ashamed to be in the presence of "successful" people like us. He had told Natasha (the other Harbor graduate who comes here weekly for mentoring) that he felt bad about showing up until he could accomplish something to show for himself. He compared it to wanting to show his father that he was worthy. Wow. We have plenty to talk about. On the one hand, it's a bad theology and understanding of God and our own unconditional love. On the other, I am honored that he wants to please us and treat us well.

Yuri's living situation played a role in his disappearance last year for a few months. Lydia had been given some money to spend for ministry purposes as she wished, and she gave a lot of it to Yuri for fixing his wood stove. Long story short, it was fixed, but the neighbors complained of smoke, so the authorities forbid him from using it. So without heat, electricity, or water at home, he had to leave.

He's been working on getting electricity, water, and fix up his unlivable home that had been abandoned by his mother 10 years ago. The biggest task has been the electricity, which now after numerous attempts at pleading with the local bureaucrats has only gotten worse:

Since they don't have proof from him that the place was abandoned, even though no power was used, he has to pay back-due bills for that 10 years of about $1000, plus another $1000 for water, gas, and other utilities. To re-open an account and install a meter, he needs another $1000. Then he can begin the process of installing wiring to hook up a new electrical system. No matter that the authorities saw with their own eyes that there is no electricity flowing to the place, the bill continues to grow.

Oh, and if you want the process to take 2 weeks instead of 2 months, pay another $1000.

I can't stand this, and I'm on it.

Her eyes shone with joy

Inna shared this testimony with me recently about a breakthrough in the life of one of the people she ministers to.

Kate is a young Christian woman, who lives most of the time in another country. She attended our church recently, and a friend advised her to contact me. After a serious illness she became debilitated. At an overseas hospital she received psychological and counseling help. 


Kate has a very serious and responsible approach to our sessions and quickly grasped the principles of prayer ministry. Because of the nature of traumatic events in childhood, she often can get distracted or switch the topic to current events in her life during our sessions. Improper rearing and abuse as a child led to a relationship with her mother in which Kate felt like a little kid, though she is responsible as an adult. 


During our first meeting, Kate said she was afraid of encounters with her mother during telephone conversations. But over time the Lord has consistently revealed the false beliefs associated with the relationship with her mother and replaced them with His truth. Now by her own testimony, Katie has more confidence in telephone conversations with her mother, and her mother has to reckon with Katya's beliefs. During the fifth session, Kate had an amazing revelation: she needed to ask the Lord to bless her into adulthood! After we prayed, her eyes simply shone with joy. I am grateful to God for the changes that are occurring in Katie's life and the chance to touch His glory!

Nastya about herself

Our new program "Orphans Reaching Orphans," and our small team of three (me, Nastya, and Inna) is off to a good and promising start. Today I translate Nastya's first letter about what she is doing and why it is important. I think you will appreciate hearing it first hand.

What is my job?

Our focus is to help graduates from orphanages.

Why them?

Everyone thinks that children are released from orphanages and they live like normal children, and they have everything you need to live. No. They do not live; rather they survive. As bad as the children's home is, they learn to live there, but when it is time to be released, they face an unknown future.

Adults who work in the orphanages work there to earn money, no more. One orphanage may have 1 or 2 people who genuinely care about these kids, loving them like their own children, investing themselves fully into them.You see what a little percent? And what about all the kids who do not get that love?

I myself grew up in three children's homes, and trust me, I know what I'm writing about, and I understand what the problems with graduates are. If these questions are not addressed, then it will be reflected not only in the people around them, at work, and in society as a whole. Many Graduates do not know how to:

• cook
• wash clothes
• care for themselves
• clean at home
• pay bills
• work
• manage their time
• make a budget
• buy food
• keep their word
• hold any moral principles
• help and give to others
• and much more

But the main thing is they need support, faith in them, love, and friendship.

The things I listed can be learned, but without someone to teach them to love, be a good friend, help others, believe in others, to trust, he will not live well, he will merely exist. They need someone they can come to, get advise from, to trust with any question, to share. With this kind of support we won't need to protect them against suicide or to visit them in prison. They need to know that there are people who need them, for whom they are important and valuable. Doing this is much more difficult and time consuming than learning those life skills above.

I'm not just talking hearsay; I live all of this; I understand how important this all is for them.

I have a girlfriend and one of them said to me, "If it weren't for you, then I would not know what to do." This she says just because I give her exactly what she really needs, in terms of friendship, relationship, love, fidelity, forgiveness, faith, accepting and valuing her as a person, and just time together. The best part is that this is how she acts with others. You see what can be done? What I do will be passed on to others, and it will be a huge help to orphan graduates as it spreads.At the outset I have 5 people who very much need this help, and thanks to you I can give them the maximum time possible. When I had my other job, I had no time, and I lost a favorite friend who died. It turned out she had needed a person who might respond to her at any time. Two other childhood friends of mine committed suicide because they were lonely and had too many problems that they couldn't resolve because they did not trust.

And there are many more like this.

They need us.

Learning to hear from God

One of my main goals personally while on vacation in France this summer was work on an independent study project I've started to learn how to hear God's voice better. The material I am using comes from Communion with God Ministries, which I have known about and promoted for years, but never actually did their basic course all the way through for myself.

And too bad! It is turning out to be a personal revolution in my spiritual life to learn how to do tow-way journaling with God. The author, Mark Virkler, is wonderful at helping left-brain skeptics like me work through all the million questions, biblical basis, personal doubts, and frustrations that come up as you go. There are answers!

The bonus is that I decided to try it with my kids during our daily devotional time, and the results blew me and Diana away. Lydia is naturally gifted spiritually, but she was very encouraged by some time she spent with God struggling with some personal fears and sense of loneliness. Simon, as the youngest, did very little writing, but since G

od uses pictures more than we realize, he got some awesome things to draw that really spoke to his heart. One was a picture of God cracking an egg open, representing Him bringing Simon into life as a baby. Simon felt God was showing him how special He had made him.

Kerith was the one who has been the most impacted. He loved to journal on a ladder to be "closer to heaven" and he made himself a "prayer box" to go with him when he journals.

For example, he had been struggling with feeling unforgiven for his sins, and God wiped that away with one remark and a picture he got about Jesus on the cross. Another couple of examples:

K: Lord, what do you think about and care about me?

G: You are a wise, clever, and beyoutefull boy, and i care deeply about you.

K: Wont you ever get bored in hevans?

G: Inposibill!!

The most amazing time of all had to to with Kerith's fear of bees, which was near comical. We would be sittin

g around eating outside, and a bee would come around. All of us were calm, but he would get so upset he would have to leave.

This conversation was at his own initiative, however.

K: Lord, can you take away my fear of bees?

G: Close your eyes.

[Kerith then reported that he felt a sort of internal vibration through his body.]

G: Hey, a bee landed on your shoulder.

[Kerith opens his eyes and actually sees a bee on his shoulder. He has no reaction, and the bee flies away.]

From this point on, Kerith became totally calm around bees.

I'd say there is power in hearing God's voice!

Refreshment from France

We had not taken a real and serious vacation since moving to Russia, so we were overdue. Ministry colleagues offered us a place of theirs in the small town of St. Aignan, France, so we took it, though not sure of all we were getting.

With no Internet, TV, or phone our lives were definitely different, but then change was welcome.

We lived in the top apartment of a 2-story house. The yard was perfect for us. Sun and shade with loads of fruit trees. Loads of bird activity, including a neighbor's chicken who took up residence for a couple of days. The kids named her Henny-Penny, and she seemed to enjoy the petting and attention.

Lyle had all 3 kids picking up fallen apples (small, hard green) and using them to practice their throwing arm in preparation for the baseball mitt use. Both boys have very good aim, and Kerith is proving quite accurate and fast. The long driveway was lined with high hedges and the property itself is quite secluded, as it seems all French residences are, so we felt like we were squirreled away from everything even though the neighbors were close by.
The big open porch on ground level housed a huge gas grill and large wooden table and chairs, which we had to take advantage of frequently.

Town life was simple. Store hours are very minimal, i.e. 4 hours/day for a local pub., so we wandered around armed with paper and pen to write down all the working hours of everyplace we need. The St. Aignan church and castle are impressive and the view of the Cher river beautiful. We walked about 13 min or so into town, but our main grocery was only about 5 minutes in the opposite direction.

Language: Diana picked up quite a bit, and the kids at the playground learned "Please, mister, would you push me?" (Lyle was swinging kids on a sort of maypole with handles.) There is very little English here, which has been only a minor hindrance. Armed with her Fr/Eng dictionary, she figured out practically everything. Of course expressing ourselves was another matter. We met our backdoor neighbors - Pierre + wife - who are g-parent age and friendly. We managed to communicate where we lived and how long we were to stay in town. Lots of smiles and nodding. They are avid gardeners, and our kitchen window overlooks their labors. Even gave us a huge zucchini as we were leaving and talked at us - amazingly friendly given our inability to talk back.

Outings: We really had very few: a big canoe trip one day and two days of visiting other towns and castles along the Cher river.

Really, this R &R is doing exactly what we needed -- to get away from Russian culture and give time to personal contemplation, prayer, and growth. We actively felt ourselves "healing up" and recharging our batteries.

Our spiritual growth individually and as a family was another blessing, which I will comment on in another post.

Retreat, Retrain, Regroup

After a year (for many in our counseling training group) of learning, practicing, and growing together, we decided it was time to get really serious, so we took of for 3 days for some intensive practice in the specific method of prayer ministry that we have been learning - theophostic prayer. Although not strictly counseling, and not mere prayer, I have used this approach in my counseling practice for many years with astounding results. My students are seeing similar results, and so their interest is far from abating.

One of us owns a dacha, or summer home, about an hour from the city and offered to let us use it for the weekend. It, like most such places, is a very simple house, with no running water or toilet, but that makes it all the more fun. It was a family event, sharing in cooking, cleaning, and fighting mosquitoes. And since Diana and Lydia were gone, the boys tagged along.

More pics from this event here.

Other than the great practice everyone got helping each other pray through difficult issues in their lives - and breakthroughs! - we also got to dig into reconciliation in a deep way. I kept hearing little conflicts, but nothing being done about them. So I started suggesting that the best path might be to talk things through. It went nowhere. Eventually, it got worse, so I called the attention of the entire group to it. What was happening was that two people (at that point) were in conflict, and nobody was doing anything. In loose group settings, maybe that's ok. But we are a tight group who minister weekly to deep places in each others' lives. To ignore what is happening in the group is disaster.

I had to keep proding, but after a while, they began to see that the problem belonged to them as a whole. So then I led a group discussion/teaching on biblical principles of reconciliation. I find that Russians can be really teachable, and the impact was significant. One woman was so hurt that she almost left because she had been so ignored, but now the group made a choice to minister to her, and the healing that came for everyone was powerful.

We capped it all off with a communion service and worship. Beautiful. That's what I live for.

Love Russia on Wheels

Through my work at MIR that I have often written about, I got to know a ministry out of England called Love Russia. Their heads, Alex and Jacqui Cooke, have been a real blessing to us in St. Petersburg through MIR, and more recently to our family. I'll tell you how.

Most of their work is about providing funds for specific purchases or physical projects at orphanages and other orphan related nonprofits or ministries. They are Christian, but often don't accent that in order to build relationships and favor. They had been working in the Ryazan region, south of Moscow for many years, but with the political climate changing, they have moved a lot of their emphasis to St. Petersburg, and our work here to orphans is the benificiary of their change. They don't have permanant staff on the ground, but rather come in periodically to find new projects to invest in, and to follow up on old ones. As such, MIR is a good partner organization, as it has the capacity to funnel funds, to build relationshiops with orphanage leadership, and to organize events and projects.

Our current project is a summer camp for orphans in foster care that MIR has organized for them, to take place in August in Estonia. ABout 50 Russian-speaking kids from Russia, as well as as many or more from Estonia and even Israel will be participating. Since Estonia is much more open to Christian ministry, the camp will be much more openly Christ-centered and evangelistic.

So what Love Russia does most of the time is raise funds for all these various projects, and hence the major bike trip that they organized recently, taking them from England, across Europe, all the way to Moscow. When the British Consulate here in St. Petersburg heard about it, they invited them and those associated with them to a tea at their consulate. The TV spot below takes place there, and you can see me in the yellow shirt. I'd never been but was impressed with the joint. It's like a little England in the midst of the city - clean, with English country gardens. The title of the spot, by the way, is "English bikers drink tea in Petersburg."

17:19 | 09.06.2011 Английские байкеры пьют чай в Петербурге В эти минуты в саду Генерального Консульства Великобритании пьют чай байкеры из Англии. Они участвовали в благотворительном российско-британском мотопробеге. Читать далее >>

Other pics from facebook on the event are here.

Alex and Jacqui are also the owners of the house that they have graciously offered to us for a summer vacation in France. We'll be there the whole month of July.

Neighborhood Clean-up

Just as the weather starts to turn tollerable for being outdoors each year (late April) a Soviet-era tradition kicks in. It brings the city back to life after the ugliness of "muddy season" when winter is melting away, leaving the accumulation of months of littering behind. We've participated in the last two, and it's really the best chance to get to know neighbors that are mostly reclusive or inclined to hang with their own otherwise. "Subbotnik" starts with raking leaves, planting plants, and picking up garbage, and ends with a shishkebab barbeque and, of course, drinking.

I got the kids going working on trash. Others raked leaves. Others helped us by standing around, but hey, it's Saturday. The day started at 11am. Work lasted two hours at the most, after which began the shaslik (shish-kebab) and drinking, which lasted until 1am that night. In these kinds of companies, drinking is pretty much mandatory. A habit I learned way back from living in Central Asia was to just take the minimum sip.

We have two special neighbors that make our subbotnik unusual:

Nadya (in the purple) brings the beauty to our courtyard. Her gift of love to the community through constant care and planting of new plants and flowers is a rare blessing in a country where public spaces are nobody's, so no one cares about them. During the course of the day, in speaking with Nadya, I learned that her husband had died way back in December. That's how embarrasingly out of touch I was. This was the very Valery that was the neighborhood drunk, who had such a special relationship with Lydia. The problem is that people don't go out much in the winter, so you don't notice when someone is gone. I still felt bad, though.

Sasha is the professional photographer who took the two group shots you see here. His great input for the day was in organizing games for the men. They did this strange stick throwing game that I could never fully understand that boys used to play back in the good old USSR.

As a professional, he and his family seem to enjoy our company more than anyone else here. I don't even fully get it, but he really wants to build a relationship with me

(he is to my right below). I take it as the favor of God, and hope I can be a good friend. Incidentally, it is their boy that Lydia tutors in English. BTW, her comments on the day are here.

In Pservice of Psychologists

Something big is starting to happen with the counseling training that I am teaching (two groups at present). Even from such small groups, God has given me access to people who in turn have access to new circles of influence. The personal transformation that they are experiencing and witnessing in others is so profound that word of mouth is traveling fast. One example is a Lutheran pastor whose wife has been attending. She has been in counseling for years, but, as she says, they usually end up telling her that that they can't help her. Now she is finding new freedom from fear that has gripped her her entire life. As a result, the pastor wants me to offer training for pastors on a national level. Now mind you there are barely 100 churches in this denomination, but to the extent that we can figure this out it expands the reach of this ministry dramatically.

More to the point, two of the women who have participated in our training are psychologists and asked me to speak to a group of Christian psychologists they are a part of. This is an inter-denominational group that meets monthly for - well, I don't really know what. One of them told me they just sit around and talk. So when they told them about me, apparently they all got very interested and told me to talk about anything I wanted to.

I chose to speak on "What is Christian psychology." It's a topic I've thought about for years, but the closer I got to having to put it all on paper, the more expansive and intimidating the subject got. Sometimes this can be an indication to me that I'm not going the right direction, but I felt assurance somehow from the Father that I was on the right path. I won't give you details, but I covered topics like:

• is psychology a bad word (the whole subject gets really bad press in most churches)
• stages in the historical development of Christian counseling
• what is a biblical view of man, the source of our problems, and their resolution
• worldview issues in secular methodologies
• positive and negative aspects of various schools
• how to speak to pastors about counseling
• how to minister to non-Christians without offending, yet not watering down your goals

They gave me two hours, and I filled it exactly, to may amazement. I frequently asked if what I was presenting was useful and new, and relatively little of what I shared was known to them, yet they seemed to be highly impressed. One lady was bold enough to say, "I believe you are an answer to my prayers, because I have been looking for some way to train in specifically Christian methods of counseling people, and I have not know where to turn." Others were from a college called the Russian Christian Humanitarian Academy studying psychology, but, as they explained, what is meant by Christian psychology there is nothing more than the fact that Russia is historically a Christian country. There is no depth of analysis of what it would mean to actually practice with the values of the Kingdom in the forefront.

The long and short of it: they unanimously invited me back to present more specifically on the prayer ministry class I am now teaching. One lady did not understand my hesitation to give more details and accept the request. "Didn't you come here looking for some sort of response from us? We are responding, but we need to know to what." So I gave in, but explained my hesitation: "What if you like it? It takes most of a year to commit to learning it."

They're ready. Am I?

Just the Numbers: 2010 in review

Here are some short ministry facts from 2010:

Coaching:

• Personally got certified by Lifeforming Leadership Coaching as a Coach Trainer.
• With Pastor Igor Sokolov, led training for three groups of students, one of which was for Indonesians (which included training on-site). This training included group seminars as well as one-on-one and one-on-two training sessions.
• Supervised the translation project for our training materials, a very large project of about 330 pages of written material, plus a few dozen audio lectures.
• Got a $2000 grant from the Des Plaines Foundation for this translation project.

Mentoring:

• Meet weekly with Pastor Igor Sokolov to help him think through ministry and personal questions, sometimes as a coach, sometimes as a consultant, sometimes as a friend, sometimes as a ministry partner.
• Meet mostly weekly with Yuri, a Harbor graduate, in our home
• Met infrequently with two other Harbor graduates, Natasha and Nastya

Counseling:

1. Conducted counseling and counseling training (often the one led to the other) for several (I count 5) individuals
2. Started prayer counseling training in June with about 15 individuals, which continues to date. We have added new students on two occasions since, and the total number of participants remains about 12.

Meetings:

• Met several new pastors this year, either individually or at a pastor conference
• Met several new ministry leaders
• Met weekly (until the summer) as a member of the leadership team of our local church, Harvest.
• Attended monthly prayer meeting of leaders of ministries to orphans

MIR

• Joined the board of directors in April (officially in June)
• Met weekly with the executive director for personal and organizational coaching
• created a new project for expansion of the hosting program into new regions
• negotiated new programs with ministry partners

Misc.

• Wrote a vision statement for the city of St. Petersburg which will be edited and added to by other missionaries and Christian leaders in the city.
• Consulted with the leadership with the school the boys attend to restructure various aspects of the school and increase parental involvement
• Recruited a new couple onto staff with CRM who want to deploy to SPB
• Met with another couple who is coming on to staff with CRM to come to SPB

Need a little structure

I've been asking myself the question lately in ministry whether I don't need to give more structure to some of the training I do with Russians. So often I run up against an inability (it seems) to manage giving assignments that are too open-ended (whether time-wise, or in terms of how to fulfill the requirement). This lesson got brought home to me the other day in parenting when I was giving an assignment to Kerith.

He and Simon were not getting along over something, and I decided I needed to step in. One of the tasks I assigned was for him to ask them to come up with an appropriate Bible verse to memorize, one "that would please me" (I've been drilling the idea of getting him to try to "catch my heart." He came up with Proverbs 7:18:

Come, let us go make love all night.

Diana's only comment was, "that sure would please you."

And his reasoning: that would be a good verse if people started protesting on the streets. (He had been hearing about Egypt.) I think we need a little more structure next time.

Two approaches to ministry

I'm leading a leadership retreat for MIR this week, and I was looking for something like this online to use, but I couldn't find anything. So I made it up. Now someone else can find it online.

Need-based ministry vs. Purpose based ministry

Need-based Purpose-based

Motivation sympathy com-passion

Approach outreach withreach

Goal filling a need fulfilling dreams

Orientation project driven process driven

Complexity low high

View of person Maslow's hierarchy adoption into sonship

Action giving gleaning

Philosophy humanistic holistic

Process transactional relational

Time line short term long term