Nastya - before and after

I have written several times about Nastya, but here is a short summary of our history with her and how she came to work with me in our new ministry: Orphans Reaching Orphans.

The Transformation of Nastya The Nastya I met was right after we moved to Russia in 2007. She was already a few years out of the Harbor (a residential ministry for orphan graduates) at that time, and she had come back to take an English class that I had been asked to teach. Nastya stood out to me, and we got to know each other slowly. She struck me as extraordinarily thoughtful, hungry for growth, perceptive about people, and personally engaging.


Little did I know at that time that the other Nastya - the one whom the Harbor had inherited in 2004 - looked nothing like this person. She came to them from a “correctional” orphanage, which meant that she was considered mentally delayed. Once you get a diagnosis of any sort in a system like this, it's all over. You're stuck there for life, and no one tries to treat you any way except what your papers say you are. When she applied to the Harbor, she met none of the benchmarks that were needed to accept her into the Harbor (cognitively or otherwise), so the psychologist rejected her outright. 


In the nearly four years I have known Nastya, she has always struck me as a person who is serious about her relationship with Christ, and the depth of that relationship has only grown. I find that in every question, what is most important for Nastya is, “what does God want?” Her faith is remarkable for someone of her age (26). 


By contrast, the Nastya who came to the Harbor had little more than a vague sense that there was a God. She had a drive and dream to be somebody, and that was what told her that she wanted to move to the Harbor. When they rejected her application, she ended up living in a dorm for the first month of college, but she was so convinced she needed to be at the Harbor that she prayed, “God, if you exist, then make it work for me to come to the Harbor.” Two days later she got invited in. Nastya's true self was so hidden behind a wall of lies about who she was from years in an institution that no one at the Harbor could even recognize Nastya's potential. Harbor staff nonetheless invested countless hours in her until the real Nastya began to emerge. As Nastya has told me, she came with a completely closed heart, but it was impossible to keep it closed when the staff were so open and loving themselves. She opened up and blossomed despite her best efforts! Sometime in those two years, Nastya had to admit that God was real, that Jesus loved her and died for her, and that she owed Him everything in return. Nonetheless, she resisted baptism for a whole year after that, realizing that it was like getting married – the most serious commitment she would ever make. 


We started inviting Nastya over to our place within a few months of meeting, and she quickly hit it off with our daughter Lydia. They would go on walks together; Nastya would take Lydia on outings around town; and they shared a love of clothing design. Besides just liking Lydia, Nastya wanted to give back to us for our hospitality by helping Lydia with her Russian. Nastya would stay late, and we'd talk about God, her place in life, and relationships. She seemed to have a natural bent and inclination in counseling, so she was fun for me to talk with. Her appetite for meaningful conversation is voracious. 


Outside the Harbor, Nastya is the kind who gets along with most everyone, and many of her fellow graduates from the Harbor seem to turn to her for wisdom and guidance in life, relationships, and work. At least this was an area where she could function on her own. As one of the most senior graduates of the Harbor (founded in 2002), she has a large network now of young adults. 


Now Nastya became the 1st member of a new team God has called me to start called Orphans Reaching Orphans. Our mission is to build bridges of relationship with Harbor and other orphan graduates that model the love of the Father, encouraging healing, growth, the pursuit of dreams, and generosity. Its a wonderfully organic ministry. I mentor and train Nastya and the others on the team, and they, in turn, reach out to orphans who are out on their own but often without the life skills, relationships, and purpose to help them see and fulfill God's purposes for their lives.


Details on Orphans Reaching Orphans are here. 

To contribute to our ministry to orphan graduates, you can click here.

Yuri - searching for home

 I have written several times about our relationship with Yuri, but I thought it would be helpful to summarize our history here in one place for you.

Yuri was in the English class I taught at the Harbor (a residential ministry for orphan graduates) when we first moved here in 2007, and he was so strong compared to the rest of the class, that he made it near impossible to teach to the various levels. After a few months, we thought of a solution: send him over to our house for personal tutoring. To this day Yuri still speaks English with us much of the time, but our times quickly became much more than tutoring.

Yuri ate with us, played with the boys (rather awkwardly at first!), just hung out, and showed me a different side of the guy that was apparently a lot of trouble for the Harbor. In this context, I could see that he was a young man hungry to learn and grow, and so I started to mentor him. What was even more impressive was the topic he chose to be mentored on: becoming a godly husband. And that is exactly what we talked about most every week for over two years, using a study I wrote for husbands based on Ephesians 5 as a basis. As Yuri explained it, “I have no model for a father or husband in my life, so I need to learn what that looks like.”

Not only does he learn from our conversations and my material, but he is an astute observer. He notices how we live, how we interact with one another, hears our tone of voice, and witnesses our love for each other, how we discipline the kids, and the occasional marital spat. And the questions! He wants to understand it all, and he seems to really appreciate having someone to help him process all the thoughts, questions, and doubts in his busy brain.

Before coming to the Harbor, Yuri had lived at the only Christian orphanage in St. Petersburg. Before that, he had been in and out of home with his mother, who largely ignored him. He spend several months at one point living on the streets and begging for food at the train station.

When we met Yuri he was living at a dorm while in school, but the remains of his childhood home became available to him soon, and he started dreaming of fixing it up for him and his sister. I went with him one day to help him fix it up. We peeled of about 8 layers of wall paper, and I found myself wondering how he would make it work, there was so much to do. The three-room wooden structure was half of a duplex that had been abandoned for 10 years due to a fire. Now it had no electricity, water, or heat.

Through a gracious gift, our daughter Lydia decided to give him the money to fix up his wood stove, which he did. But rather than things getting better from there, they got worse. The neighbors complained of the smoke, the authorities forbad him from using it, and he abandoned the place in despair, soon disappearing from our lives too.

Lydia's gentle and frequent prodding through Facebook eventually brought him back after several months, and things looked up for a while. He had a job and a new plan to fix up his home. After several more months of work, he found that the bureaucrats who could decide the fate of his lost utilities were not going to budge on what they claimed was a back-debt and fees for all those ten years of $3000 ($4000 if you want them to speed things up, if you know what I mean). Then come the repairs themselves. Yuri abandoned hope again - and us - for a long time.

When he finally showed up again, I had to press him on this pattern, and he confessed that he is ashamed to be around “successful” people when he is such a failure himself. The good news is that Yuri is still coming now in the midst of a personal housing, job, and financial crisis that he can't figure out how to resolve. He told me recently that he appreciates my helping him sort through his confusion and think and pray through options.

Although Yuri still feels like a “bad example” of a Christian in his mind, he is an influence on his friends. I told him all this investment in him was not just for his sake. So recently he even told me he's ready to disciple one of his friends if I can help him explain the gospel to the guy.

That's moving in the right direction, if you ask me. 

My best birthday card ever

My birthday was yesterday, and the wife and kids treated me beautifully. Woke up to a Southern breakfast that included sausage gravy, which I never get around here. Came home at the end of the day to a wonderful cheese fondue dinner, and Yuri joined us for this and for some games the kids organized for us all. That's me in the middle rolling an egg. Much fun was had by all.

I just have to share Kerith's card, as I think it's the best I've ever gotten. [Note: I always take the kids to Waffle House or McDonald's on their birthday.] Here is what it said:

Happy Birthday, Dad!
This is a very special birthday because it involves great memories instead of presents. After a few months you will realize this birthday is impossible to forget. I personally did my hard work to show my thanks to you for loving and caring for me. Your kindness is beyond measure. You're the best dad a boy could ever have. Sometimes I can't decide which is better, you or Mom. And that's how I feel right now. I'm lucky to be your son. I mostly enjoy the times when you and me are alone. Having a good laugh and having a godly discussion is just great. I really enjoy those times and will for the rest of my life - he! Wouldn't it be a surprise if I took you to Waffle House or McDonald's sometime when you are in  your 70's. I might. 


Love,
Kerith

Towards God's heart for Russia

Journaling has become a revolutionary way for me to get in touch with the heart of God for me, for circumstances, and for ministry. Here is a recent example that touches on the heart God is giving me for orphans in Russia. The context is work I was doing this summer on a broad vision statement for ministry.

Here is what I told God in prayer:

I really want the vision I run with to be from your heart, so I feel I should submit everything to you in journaling, so that you can tell me if and where I am off base. I am wiling to be very far off base so that your will be done. My intellect is nothing compared with your inspired thoughts and vision. So I lay down what I have written and ask you to fill the space. 

Son, your vision is good and full of much that is on my heart. Just continue to work on it with your new insights from your new learning and lean to me more than ever before. The best part is in the details, and so there is still much that we can work on together in closer partnership that will give even more passion to the final result. There is more to come that you don't see yet, and I want to be your source for all of that. You have not yet begun to see the potential of this vision, and I want to fill you with such a sense of anticipation that it will drive you to do whatever you need to to see it happen. There is more to come, and I have a big heart for Russia. I love that country, and it is full of people with hearts that are crying out for me. They are full of such pain, and you have a piece of what I want to give to them.... Dwell with me in intimacy, and I will fill you with my heart that breaks for the Russian people. I love them, died for them, and I will see them raised up to a place of honor in the world. They have much left to contribute to the Kingdom, and they have not yet begun to realize that potential that is bound up in their hearts They are closed to me and my ways for now, but that will change. You can be a source in me of new hope for them. There is an entire army to be raised up that will show the way to this new future. This army will serve not with big ideas but with big hearts and they will show how to love sacrificially for the sake of building up others.... Show them how to love, and they will love even unto death. I have spoken, and I will cause it to come to pass. You must only come to me with all burdens and I will give you rest, direction, and hope. This of course too big for you, but I will cause it to be. This is for my whole Church to perform together. My children will hear my voice, and they will respond to this call for humility in service. There is a cry to go out through the land that our God is an awesome God, and he rules from heaven on earth. I will see my kingdom established in Russia, and it will amaze the peoples of the earth to see me really ruling in a place that was a laughingstock to the world. They pretend to be something, but I will tear that pretense down and build in it's place a sense of true calling and honor among the nations. Russia is a great nation. I love her, and I will see her come to her place. Yes, it is a good thing, and I will move in the hearts of men to see it pass. There is a dark side to Russia that will also be in operation at the same time. This dark side will grow in the hearts of men as well, and it will take over at some point, but I will see to it that my people, called by my name, will humble themselves and receive from me the kind of power and authority on high that will shake things in a way never seen before. I will cause the powers to see the authority that my Church has on earth. They may not bow to it, but they will not be able to deny it. This will be an awesome thing to behold.

Talk to me, Lord, about your heart for the family, biological and spiritual, and what you are doing to bring transformation.

Families are a mess, and it breaks my heart. Fathers are absent or worse, and I hate to see what it does it my children. How I want to grab them up into my arms and hold them so they can feel my love! There are way too many orphans in Russia. This is a travesty, and their leaders will answer for their treatment of these dear ones. My Church must rise to the occasion and not consider themselves limited to do anything. The orphan spirit is the single greatest threat to Russia at this moment. I see a day when the Body of Christ will see itself as the primary caretaker of families, where the Body will be come a family. Where churches are true families of faith. This is what must happen for there to be an end to the orphan spirit. Fathers must rise up, families must rise up, and families of faith must rise up to take their place at home and in society. Fathers are the key, but they are not where to begin. Fathers much be found and raised up to learn how to lead their homes with love and compassion. Mothers much be found who can learn to love, to trust, and to lean on me for their every breath. This will be the key to finding the fathers that will be raised up to father a new generation. 

What does this have to do with churches, Lord?

It should have everything, but my church is not much of a family today. It is a clubhouse, and this must be broken. You are doing the right thing to want to create a parallel structure for raising up families. There must also be an outreach component in them to the churches to help educate them so they will develop an hunger for a true family. 

How do we create that hunger, Lord?

I will create the hunger in them when they see your example. Your main job is merely to testify to what is happening in your groups as I show up and heal entire families through these fellowships. This is all you need - testimony. 

Do we need to do something in churches, for the churches's sake?

No, your job is to create a place where healing can take place, and the church will be transformed into a loving family when they see what family can look like. 

From France into Frenzy

The blessings that came during our time of rest and refreshment in France were tremendous. It was an amazing time of total rest for a full month in a setting the could not have been more to our tastes and needs. The ins and outs of what we did are here, and some of the great spiritual blessings are recorded here.

We return to what seems to be an almost predictable battle. Nearly everything about our lives are in question:

• Our washing machine has kicked the can;
• Our internet has had numerous challenges, and two pieces of hardware died;
• Our ability and desire to stay in our apartment is more in question than ever, given its increasing decay, the lack of support in fixing things from the owner, and her general distasteful attitude about things;
• We have to start our residency process all over again now, which you may remember was a huge process three years ago. The good news is that, if we get it, it will give us stability for 5 more years;
• We are changing our kids' school schedules, bringing Kerith home full time, and Simon will be down to 2 days a week in Russian school. Schedules and tutoring are not all nailed down.
• I've been in prayer about where God wants me to focus this fall, because I have new opportunities and only want to go where He wants me;
• Yuri disappeared and has re-appeared again, but he's in a real battle for a place to call home.
• Our biggest battle, however, is surrounding the new Orphans Reaching Orphans project. My sense is that it is so potentially powerful that the Enemy could not leave it alone. Beyond a difficult funding atmosphere so far, the far greater concern is a relational breakdown on the American side that is wreaking havoc. Suffice it to say that it is painful, difficult, and chaotic, which God is not the author of. I have been in intense prayer over it, and I feel that God has given me good direction, which mainly has to do with walking in love and humility, but I need all the prayer I can get here. The project itself is off to a great start.  

I hate socialism

Yuri, our long-time former orphan graduate from the Harbor, turned up again after a few months absence.  We have always had an open-door policy with him, and he usually comes once a week for mentoring and dinner. The kids were thrilled to see him. We were happy too, but we had to understand what was really going on.

His reason: life has been hard lately - no job, and a difficult living situation, and when things go poorly for him, he feels ashamed to be in the presence of "successful" people like us. He had told Natasha (the other Harbor graduate who comes here weekly for mentoring) that he felt bad about showing up until he could accomplish something to show for himself. He compared it to wanting to show his father that he was worthy. Wow. We have plenty to talk about. On the one hand, it's a bad theology and understanding of God and our own unconditional love. On the other, I am honored that he wants to please us and treat us well.

Yuri's living situation played a role in his disappearance last year for a few months. Lydia had been given some money to spend for ministry purposes as she wished, and she gave a lot of it to Yuri for fixing his wood stove. Long story short, it was fixed, but the neighbors complained of smoke, so the authorities forbid him from using it. So without heat, electricity, or water at home, he had to leave.

He's been working on getting electricity, water, and fix up his unlivable home that had been abandoned by his mother 10 years ago. The biggest task has been the electricity, which now after numerous attempts at pleading with the local bureaucrats has only gotten worse:

Since they don't have proof from him that the place was abandoned, even though no power was used, he has to pay back-due bills for that 10 years of about $1000, plus another $1000 for water, gas, and other utilities. To re-open an account and install a meter, he needs another $1000. Then he can begin the process of installing wiring to hook up a new electrical system. No matter that the authorities saw with their own eyes that there is no electricity flowing to the place, the bill continues to grow.

Oh, and if you want the process to take 2 weeks instead of 2 months, pay another $1000.

I can't stand this, and I'm on it.

Her eyes shone with joy

Inna shared this testimony with me recently about a breakthrough in the life of one of the people she ministers to.

Kate is a young Christian woman, who lives most of the time in another country. She attended our church recently, and a friend advised her to contact me. After a serious illness she became debilitated. At an overseas hospital she received psychological and counseling help. 


Kate has a very serious and responsible approach to our sessions and quickly grasped the principles of prayer ministry. Because of the nature of traumatic events in childhood, she often can get distracted or switch the topic to current events in her life during our sessions. Improper rearing and abuse as a child led to a relationship with her mother in which Kate felt like a little kid, though she is responsible as an adult. 


During our first meeting, Kate said she was afraid of encounters with her mother during telephone conversations. But over time the Lord has consistently revealed the false beliefs associated with the relationship with her mother and replaced them with His truth. Now by her own testimony, Katie has more confidence in telephone conversations with her mother, and her mother has to reckon with Katya's beliefs. During the fifth session, Kate had an amazing revelation: she needed to ask the Lord to bless her into adulthood! After we prayed, her eyes simply shone with joy. I am grateful to God for the changes that are occurring in Katie's life and the chance to touch His glory!