Subscribe!

Join Our Mailing List
Email:

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Honor among thieves

For the third time in as many years, I was pick-pocketed this week.
  • The first time it was a band of guys who pushed their way onto the subway, causing a big ruckus and push so they could reach in my pocket and take my phone.
  • The second time someone reached into my man-purse as I was riding down the subway escalator.
  • This time I was in Coffee House with Pastor Igor, and someone managed to take my whole purse right off of the couch I was sitting on.
I was depressed, but both Diana and I weathered it much better than the last time. The bad news was that I had just taken a couple hundred dollars out of the ATM. The good news was that what was not in the purse were my phone, iPod, or passport. I had also just taken a bill out that had our address on it, which would have come in handy with the keys.

A few hours later, after I had had a little time to fight back in prayer by thanking God for the positives, and to affirm that He is in control, that He is good, and that I will rejoice in all things, I got a call. A bathroom cleaning lady at an upscale hotel across the river from where I had been had found the purse and a piece of paper with our number on it. Preserved were:
  • the keys
  • all my discount cards
  • all three credit cards (though we had already blocked two)
  • my pen
The nice thieves had stuffed everything, except the money, my metro card, and chewing gum, back nicely in the main pocket and put it in a trash can where it would be found. It was as though they didn't want to put me out too much.

You think I'm crazy? I was telling someone about what had happened the next day, and she said she knew of incidents where pick-pockets would call their victims by phone and tell them where to find their purse, like in a grocery store locker.

They say there is honor among thieves. The Bible says we have all been given a conscience to remind us of the universal laws that point us back to their Creator. C.S. Lewis even said that the universality of these principles and our universality of our agreement on them is evidence that they are built in to our hard drive by Someone.

But my chewing gum? . . .

The Lucky 13

After over 6 months of incredible labor, with constant setbacks and pointless fights with government officials, MIR succeeded in getting 13 kids out of Russia and into the hands of Christian families in the U.S this week, out of the over 100 originally approved. This video tells the good news. I wish I could relate the behind-the-scenes work it took.


I met with Andrei Gvozdovsky on Monday, (who works for MIR on the hosting program) right after he and Masha (the director, his wife) had spend most of the night traveling around the city to pick up the kids and take them to the airport. The kids aged between 2 and 15, many of whom are handicapped. Andrei's heart went out to these kids, and he expressed hope that they would be adopted as a result of this experience. He related two short, but telling moments.

One little boy asked him, "When are we leaving?" - and the Russian word implied by car. Andrei pointed out that they would be flying. The child didn't understand.
"Like a bird," Andrei explained.
"That can't be. People can't do that."

The other case was of a little girl who called all caregivers "mama," whether men or women. As there are no men in her orphanage, and she apparently knew none at home, she has no idea what a father is.

That's the orphan spirit for you - not knowing your Father.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Our fifty hour fridge

It's been cold here lately. I mean cold. It hit -9F before the end of November, which is cold even for Russia this time of year. Our windows look like this picture to the left. A few days later we lost our heating. What does that mean? Heating is centrally controlled here. We all have radiators that have hot water pumped from somewhere coming through them. So an accident happened a few blocks away, and it got cold.

The first night was tolerable.






The next day, we were living in the kitchen with the gas stove, and trying to heat another room with a small space heater. We all slept in the same room that night.

The next day was Kerith's birthday party. As you can see from the picture, they had to get under the blankets. They didn't mind; they were watching Empire Strikes Back.



That night it came back. And then we lost it the next day again before it had gotten normal. Looks like we are now finally doing ok. At least until the next issue....

Monday, November 22, 2010

Counseling training breakthrough

Since early summer I have been meeting with a group every Monday evening in our home to go through some training that has just recently become available in Russian in prayer ministry. I like prayer ministry, though not to the exclusion of other kinds of counseling (which I also teach) because it is a way of allowing the Holy Spirit to directly speak to the issue a person is facing. It also can have a very quick and dramatic impact on the person for the same reason. More information about it is here.

The plan is to take a year to go through a video series, twice, and to practice together with each other to gain confidence and build the skills and sensitivity to God's leading as we go. Some of the students just started in October, but I decided we were already ready for some work in groups last week. I put them in sets of 3 to practice asking good questions of each other. What amazed me was that, in every group, they went beyond what I had asked or expected, and they started really ministering to each other with some wonderful results.

Here are the comments of one person taking the training, who is on staff at the Harbor:

Generally I am very glad that there is such a ministry! There is an opportunity to communicate with like-minded people!
1. It helps me better understand God and how He acts.
2. I'd become aware that people actually can help more often than we think
3. In some cases, I have the freedom to help myself [through prayer]
4. If I had small children, I could save them from many false beliefs that could have an adverse affect on them
5. In me was more understanding, compassion for others. I think more about how what you say or do can affect others.

Another long-time student of mine wrote this to me:
These classes helped me find inner peace, which helps me in ministering to people and understanding God. Spiritual Formation becomes more understandable when you take no responsibility for others' feelings. Pessimistic Christianity rejects feelings as not necessary and too elementary for spiritual life. In fact, the more you realize that God will heal, the more you want to serve Him. I realized that only God can enter into the past and heal wounds. This affects all spheres of life. I have become more confident, can understand people better, and hopefully cam help them learn more effectively. Thank you, Lyle, and the people who sponsor you, because we are able to understand better God's healing and His ministry to people. Thank you very much. God bless you!

Friday, November 12, 2010

The need for Russian adoptions

It's too early to spill the beans, but MIR is about to undergo some big changes, and I am excited about the potential to take the ministry to another level of effectiveness and impact in the city. Meanwhile, I'll put out some teasers to seed vision for what is needed as we move forward with these changes.

This is a quote from a site about a ministry called Light of Love that I don't know but need to get to know soon. They are interested in the question of preparing Russian families for foster care and adoption. So is MIR - not directly, but in helping foster momentum, training, and networks to that end. Here are some data that support the need:

In January, 2007 the Russian government enacted a law that is significantly impacting orphans. It calls for overhauling the country’s child welfare system by shifting from an orphanage system to a foster care/adoption system. Ideally, this is a positive step because clearly it is better for orphans to be in families than in institutions. However, there are some key roadblocks:

1) The timing: the government plans on closing down 70% of orphanages in the next 3 years. There are over 800,000 orphans in institutions in Russia. It is not feasible to successfully place that number of children into families in such a short timeframe.

2) The lack of screening: The Russian government is doing very little to screen potential foster / adoptive families, and is instead offering a lump sum of money up front to anyone who will take in a child.

3) The lack of training: The Russian government is providing very little in the way of foster parent or pre-adoption training to interested families.

Additionally, as orphanages are being closed, international adoptions from Russia have virtually come to a halt. The combination of these two events puts Russian orphans in a desperate situation. It is critical that stable Russian families become equipped to adopt and foster orphans.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Mere MIR

I should give you a better idea of what I am doing at MIR and at least a sense of what impact my efforts are having, although it is still early to see much fruit. I have been spending about a day a week there since April. My early history with MIR is recounted here. Recently, Masha, the executive director, wrote some about what she has appreciated about my service there:

-Lyle helped me to articulate my concers, suggestiona and conclusions better for the Board and our partners at the time I was under much stress and emotion-Lyle was there during a very difficult key conference phonecall with our partner's board, guiding and summing things up
-Lyle accompanied me to Estonia for a meeting with directors and officials who really needed to hear the truth about our program after much confusion
-Lyle put the services of MIR in a very clever chart and edited the current agreement of mutual cooperation form, so it corresponds with our current situation better
All of these as much as being stressful were also good learning experiences where I could see how to react in stressful situation, be able to see above the current conflict, invite God in at the rush of the moment.

I'm always looking forward to our visits even if I'm in a difficult state, because talking it through has potential for getting out of a deadend.

I'm still learning how to prioritize things, how to chose what to focus on, how to plan our training session topics ahead to make them more productive in shorter time and how to invite God into my life. Clearly Lyle has contributed to these areas of my growth.

MIR is in a unique position in the city as a hub for discussion and activity around care of at-risk children generally, and orphans particularly. Despite going through a tough season right now, I see a lot of potential for emerging from this time as an even stronger player who can serve in a key role between ministries, orphanages, churches, and Western organizations and volunteers. So the days ahead are a time for re-defining who MIR is -the mere MIR - and seeking God's path forward. To that end, pray with us.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

A perfect trip

Our recent CRM conference in Langkawi, Malaysia eludes a perfect description -- at least from me (Diana). But there is one aspect I will attempt to share with you, and this about "perfection."

When one travels, one should never, ever expect a perfect trip. Although most of us would include in our definition of travel perfection: no delays, comfortable seats, tasty food, no running through the airports, no hassles at the borders, and no lost luggage. Our forty-four hour nightmarish journey to the island of Langkawi only included the very last item, so by most definitions, our trip was far from perfect. Lyle blogged about the crazy details, and I encourage any reader to click on over to the nightmares coming and returning.

At every turn we faced a glaring lack of perfection, and I was finally brought to tears when our last, seemingly impossible
situation of making our connecting flight in Kuala Lampur actually worked in our favor. I felt utter, sold-out, beyond-words gratitude when we arrived safe and sound. I don't know if I would have felt that complete sense of gratitude without having the trials, and having been brought to that level of helplessness and hopelessness was part of a bigger plan by our perfect God to show me reliance on Him.

Perfection insight #1: I can't do it alone.

Our first afternoon I took a quiet stroll by myself on the beach enjoying the shell hunting and warm waves on my feet. My grandmother instilled the love of shells and their intricacies when I was very young, and, to my delight, I remembered every name of shell she ever taught me. As I smoothed the sand from one spiral shell in my palm, I realized I could not see the design very clearly. And, as is more common these days, I had to actually remove my glasses in order to see the awesome colors and patterns close up. Marveling at this tiny masterpiece that probably nobody else in the world will ever see, I heard one of God's lessons for me: "You must take off your idea of perfection (my glasses) in order to see my beauty and perfection." Whoa. I could have gone home after that revelation! No conference needed!

Perfection insight #2: My ideas of perfection are seriously flawed.

Lastly, one of my favorite moments of the conference was when some forty people representing the different countries where CRM serves (ex-pats and nationals) read scripture related to our conference theme. They processed one after the other up a center aisle to the microphone to read in their native language or the language of their host country. The scripture in English and their language was on the big screen. It was powerful! Sure, we hear dozens of foreign tongues just walking through the airports, but this was completely different. There was such beauty in the patchwork of languages, and to hear them all one after the other without pause was amazing in a way I had never experienced. Of course, this is just a taste of heaven when God's perfection is complete for us to enjoy.

Perfection insight #3: We have no clue what God's perfect plan will look like when every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Lydia's plea

Lydia started tearing up tonight as I put her to bed (when we always have our best conversations, though they drag on much too long!) as she began telling me about the plight of the little Christian school where they all attend part time. It suffers from two (no doubt) related matters: first, she and a friend once counted the number of children at the school without a father at home to be about a third of the entire body. Second, the one and only male teacher got married and moved away this summer.

What hurts her so much is not only missing the man, but more so feeling the pain of these other children in not having a male influence in their lives. There is such an orphan spirit on these kids, and she feels it. Weeping, she pleaded with me to pray about coming to teach at least one class there. "I know they would have the deepest respect for you, and you are such a cool guy and a great dad. They need that so much, Daddy." She went on to give all the reasons why it would fit within my mandate to raise up leaders, and I couldn't say a word in opposition. "Just because they are kids, doesn't mean you can't raise them up as leaders, right?"

The leaders of the school have already pleaded with me to teach a Bible class, and I told them what I told Lydia: I want to teach those who can teach them." Problem is, there are no such men. WHERE ARE THE MEN???

It's a question that eats at me often. Now the thought of my daughter's troubled plea will too.

Some notes on foster care and prevention

While at Hope Children's Village yesterday, I got to talk with our hostess' neighbor Ira, who also has 7 children, some biological, and some under foster care. I asked the two of them some questions about the state of foster care in Russia, and they turned out to be a good source, as they teach a 6 week course for new foster families that this region (essentially a county, Gatchina) offers. Ira told me that when she and her husband started taking in children in 2004, they were the 2nd family in the entire county of 200,000 to have EVER done so!

We talked about why so few Russians do this kind of thing. Several opinions came out, including the obvious lack of concern for children that such a reality implies. But they also pointed out that, whereas in the West, it seems to be common knowledge that there are so many orphans in Russia and the former communist block, Russians themselves hardly knew a thing about it until just very recently. There weren't even so much as newspaper articles about the plight of abused and neglected children. And the progress? From 2 families in 2004 to now just under 60 foster families in 2010.

I asked about prevention? The government office supposedly over such matters, "Social Defense" actually does nothing of the sort. They just process paperwork. So, whereas in the states and other Western countries there is the not infrequent problem of taking children away from homes for spurious reasons (often related to homeschooling), in Russia children are not saved from dangerous homes until much later than should have been the case.

And what about efforts to rehabilitate families who have had children taken away? The rule is, when your kids get taken, it's not for good at first. It's for 6 months. You've got that long to prove yourself worthy to have them back. Does a social worker help you do that? Are you offered classes? Are you forced or even offered to do anything? Not at all. For an irresponsible family in a country that is plagued with passivity, it's like asking them to go get a doctorate in a foreign language. So it doesn't happen. And so the roles of orphans grow each year, and 90% of them are "social orphans" which means they actually have a family, as opposed to a real orphan.

The state is dead set on reversing this trend, though. Problem is, it doesn't know how. So in typical Russian style, they do clever things like this one (reported to me by Andrei, our man at MIR responsible for growing the U.S. hosting program): Novgorod has a beautiful and relatively new orphanage in the center of town. Trouble is, it's closed. I say trouble, because there are no fewer orphans. The administration just moved them out into three other orphanages in the country - facilities that are correspondingly spartan. But the great news is that Novgorod can now say that they have no more orphanages -the last one is closed! What brilliance! Thinking about the rewards they will reap in that Great Day just takes your breath away.

The other strategy is moving the kids into foster care. Sounds good, right? This is what other countries, most notably, the U.S. has done. There aren't any orphanages in the states. We take care of kids through foster care. And it is certainly far from a perfect system. My own mother worked as a social worker with families who had lost parental rights (but she helped them get them back!) and with foster families to help them succeed too. My mother has no counter part here, as near as I can tell.

Ira told me that not only so, but that of the 15 counties in the "state" (oblast) of Leningrad (which surrounds St. Petersburg), only three of them even offer this class to foster families that she teaches. Otherwise, they just have to fill out the paperwork and they are good to go. (So kudos to Gatchina, not only for seeing the need to teach this class, but also because they were the only region willing to give the land to Hope for the children's village. The others couldn't believe that in the motives of the group enough to consider helping.)

The results are predictable, though the extent is horrendous: 30,000 children in the last three years inside Russia were sent back to institutions by their adoptive, foster or guardianship families. Little Yulia that I wrote about meeting at Natasha's was a casualty of that statistic, but Yulia is as happy as can be. "Love covers a multitude of sins."

These are the kinds of things that force me to pray and work towards change at both the micro and macro levels. I'm asking the Lord for strategies to reach the family, particularly the husbands/men, and for access to the high places and the gates where decisions are made. Working at one or the other would be otherwise futile.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Hope Children's Village

Today we visited a most unusual community, artificially created around a theme. If that weren't unusual enough here, the theme is even more so: foster care. Some rich Russians actually got together with a heart to do the right thing, and created a foundation, and this community is the result.

There are currently 10 families living in 5 duplexes along one street, all of whom have taken in at least 2 foster children. My friend and colleague Yan, who heads up a national prison ministry here, invited the family to go with his family to visit one of these families. To see some footage of the Hope Children's Village, you can see a TV report about it here. I regret not having had our camera with us. It was an hour by metro, then another hour by car to get there.

We were greeted by Yulia, the sweetest little 5 year old imaginable, especially considering that she had been in two other foster families and rejected by both. Immediately behind her were oodles of more children, and then mother Natasha. Talk about your dictionary definition of amazing; Natasha is it. She only started moving in the direction of foster care AFTER having 4 kids of her own, and AFTER her husband completely abandoned the family, including any form of child support.

Ironically, her three foster kids are either older or younger than the other four. Vanya, the 18 month old, is the most amazing story. Born to alcoholic parents, who had already become regular suppliers for the state orphanage system, Vanya came along a full three months premature. As such, he was actually considered a miscarriage, and the mother did not even have to sign any papers to relinquish him to the state. She and the hospital just left him to die.

A week later, having not died (!), the baby became a person legally (behold the power of the state to regulate life), and so all of a sudden had to be cared for. His medical issues were legion (Cerebral Palsy, or some such issue, fluid on the brain, a tumor on the skull, etc.), however, and so by even the time a few months later when Natasha took him, well-meaning staff told her it was pointless to take in a child that was soon to die anyway. The one issue he did not have, which the doctor said she had never seen in such cases, was Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Natasha took Vanya from the hospital straight to her church before coming home, where they prayed fervently for the child. And the result: Vanya is essentially 100% healed and normal.

How does she survive? The home was provided by the foundation for as long as she has foster children. It was furnished by church members and others whom God touched. She receives about $330 a month support from the state (essentially welfare) for her own kids, and each of the three foster kids bring in barely $200. Somehow, she makes it on less than $1000 a month.

The program, though private, is not Christian. Five of the 10 families are, however. This is most significant, considering a general population of less than 1% Christian. These 5 all gather weekly for prayer and mutual support. Some other friends of ours, Nadia and Yan, helped them organize this summer a mini camping experience as a Christian outreach to the other families. It was a powerful success with all the kids, and in helping build relationships among the children and the adults. It was amazing for me to learn that in a community of 10 families where they all had something as significant in common as this, they didn't even talk with each other before the camp. (But why should I be too surprised? I barely have been able to get to know my own neighbors after three years here.)

The event almost didn't take place, thanks to the fearless leadership of a certain member of that noble class of warriors, known as a bureaucrat. I forget the details that Nadia told me, but they worked it out at the last minute. But this Orthodox hero of the faith would not give up her pursuit of keeping Russia clean of infidels. She invited an Orthodox priest to come to a parent meeting and asked him to put these sectarians in their place. His response? He rebuked the bureaucrat for her concerns, said it would be a travesty to stop what the families are trying to do, and told her they are following in the same historic Christian faith as she supposedly does.

The group is now in partnership with this man of radical faith. They are also looking for someone to come be a pastor to the community. Any takers? The size of the community is set to double soon with the opening of several new homes being built.

P.S. Some ideas for short term teams:
1. Come help organize another, and possibly longer, summer camp for the kids.
2. Take the kids on field trips to the city or elsewhere. Public transportation for Natasha's family to the city (she can't afford a car) is about $50 round trip, not to mention whatever the event costs are.
3. Organize events, seminars, etc. for the parents or whole families.
4. The shared playground is very sparse and overrun with weeds. Someone, pleas, build them a real playground.
5. A friend of Natasha's drew her up a wonderful plan for landscaping her yard, to include fruit trees and a garden for the kids. It awaits labor and money. No doubt others have similar needs, but Natasha's are acute since there is no man to do it.

More on the broader issues of foster care in this post.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Translation work

Russian is not hurting in the grand scheme of things as far as having access to a lot of good Christian literature. My problem is that much of what I see as critical for effective ministry here is not available. Part of the reason is that much of what I use in my discipleship and training of Russians here is fairly new, but also because I'm intentionally trying to fill gaps in ministry where I perceive the opportunity for high leverage tools for change.

The biggest current translation project is finalizing all of our coach training material for our strategic partner, Lifeforming Leadership Coaching. My local partner is Igor Sokolov, whom I met while we were both being trained by Lifeforming in 2006. Igor is a strategic leader in St. Petersburg and well beyond, with contacts and favor across nearly all denominational lines. Igor was given free tuition in exchange for a promise to translate the material (a vast notebook of several hundred pages plus numerous audio files) for use in Russia.

By the time we moved here in 2007, Igor had finished most of the work, but final details, edits, and getting it into a professional form hung over his head, and God used me to re-energize the process. Together in the fall of 2009 we led a group of pastors, missionaries, businessmen, and Harbor staff in the 1st third of Lifeforming's year-long certification process. The response has been more enthusiastic than we even expected, with most of the participants asking if they can continue the training.

We realized we needed to get more serious and systematic about our work, so we invited some of the participants to form a steering committee to the end of making a long-term strategy. Simultaneously, we entered into negotiations with the largest Christian school here, St. Petersburg Christian University. Their interest was also well beyond our expectations. We are looking at both offering our training under their official umbrella, as well as partnering with them to embed coaching training into their new Masters of Practical Theology and Leadership.

And then comes the question of money. We estimated that we still need about $5000 to finish all our work to get the material to a professional level. Through my contacts in Richmond, VA (where we moved from), God gave our project favor with a local foundation which has just given us $2000 to this end. This is exciting news, helping to confirm that God is pleased with this work to raise of transformational leaders across Russia who not only know the Word, but know how to incarnationally come alongside others to help draw out their God-given calling and potential.

For more information about other translation needs, click here.

A Kingdom Enterprise

Dormant in my long list of dreams is the desire to start one or more businesses that would be a complement to the overall strategy of empowering Russian leaders toward a sustainable indigenous missions movement. My first run at this goal happened just one year into our new life here in Russia. God connected me with a local Christian business man with a heart to share his success with others in ministry to generate income for them to be less dependent on tent making (the story which I discuss here). That dream has not (yet!) become reality, but even if it doesn't, I beleive that some seeds were sown for the future, not the least of which was getting the attention of Enterprise International, our agency's division dedicated to starting and sustaining highly profitable ventures for CRM projects.

And the main reason that first project didn't get off the ground: lack of an Enterprise person here on the ground to manage it.

Fast forward 18 months. Chapter 2 of this story began this summer when we found out that Enterprise had begun serious negotiations with a man who is feeling a call on his life to use his business gifts and experience to serve orphans. Chris White and his wife, Jill, adopted a Russian boy last year, and the experience broke their hearts for the plight of the orphans left behind that they were NOT able to adopt. Since then, God has been moving on them to consider leaving the only home they have known (Birmingham) - where all their closest family and friends live, and making an international move to St. Petersburg.

Chris and Jill brought Luke (2 1/2) with them this past week for a visit to see if they were really hearing from God or not, to explore the city, learn more about the Harbor, and get to know their potential team members. It was exciting to talk possibilities with them, take them around the city, and have powerfull meetings with the staff of the Harbor about how a business could come alongside them, not only for the income, but also to benefit the residents directly, through job training and other such venues.

The process for them has just begun, so we don't know where and how this will end, but we got along well and are excited about what God has invested in them for "just such a time as this." Pray with us for God's leading, wisdom, and favor - for breakthoughs in Russia that will take His work to another level!

P.S. As further confirmation of God's intention to do something new here in St. Petersburg, the Whites are not the only ones considering a move to our team. There are several others who feel a call for Russia and/or the orphans that are either praying about their next steps, and some already in the process of raising money to move here. Please also pray for this larger process of building a strategic apostolic team here. I see this all as advance work for something big coming down the road.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Teaching in Indonesia

If you have been thinking that all of our ministry is in Russia, then you may be surprised today. This summer Diana and I had a wonderful diversion from our normal work in Russia to serve a school in Indonesia. Let me tell you how God pulled that off for us to do something so out of the ordinary.

Through the school Diana teaches through online, Diana got to know one of the leaders of a classical Christian school in Bandung, who invited her last year to do some teacher training for most of the staff. The school is a very successful one, with (now) about 500 students, and all of the teachers and students have to speak in English, which is a second language in Indonesia.

So Diana spent about 10 days there last fall working (quite intensely) with them in her area of specialty – writing. They were so impressed that they asked her to come back. It so happened that she was already planning to come back, as our family had to travel to Malaysia this summer for our mission's once-every-four-year worldwide conference. Diana talked them into speaking with me too to see if there was anything I could offer of value. Turns out I could.

So we spent two weeks there as a family this summer – Diana doing more and deeper training with the teachers, and I leading some of the principals, teachers, and board members in Christian coaching training. The kids meanwhile did everything from play with the P.E. staff to helping out with the Kindergarten classes when their school year started.

To be honest, we all had a wonderful time (especially after these travel woes), loved the people we worked with, felt like we were able to be used in a way that had a real impact, and it was a great change of pace from the normal life we know in Russia. And yes, we got in some fun time too. And no, we aren't tempted to leave Russia.

Diana was excited to see how eager and teachable all the teachers were, how much they had implemented from the year before, and the varieties of applications they were making to the material. I was excited to see how quickly my students picked up on the values of coaching, how powerfully their lives were being impacted, and how they were able to pass these values on and impact others around them in school and at church through their small groups.

A few comments I got:

  • It really encourages my spirit especially on leadership things!”

  • Through this Coaching Training I have had the most significant learning experience i.e.: learning to hold my tongue and really listen what my peer said.”

  • I LEARN MUCH ABOUT BEING AUTHENTIC & BE ACCOUNTABLE TO SOMEBODY. I REALIZED THAT MY PERSONALITY IS TEND TO BE INTROVERT, AND IT CHALLENGES ME TO BE TRANSFORMED AND OPEN MY LIFE MORE TO OTHERS, SO THAT ALL OF GOD’S WORKS IN MY LIFE SHOULD BECOME A BLESSING FOR OTHERS.”

  • I believe this is the right way to built people and help other to grow.”

So, I guess you never know how and where God will use you. Thanks for being behind us to make these extra blessings possible.

Monday, July 26, 2010

To bribe, or not to bribe

As if our troubles on the way to Malaysia this month weren't enough, our next leg of our Asia tour was even more fun.

We arrived in Jakarta Saturday night the 24th and had to pass through the same two hoops as a week earlier on our way through to Malaysia: buying a visa, and passport control. Since the lines had been so slow the last time, I sent Diana and the kids on ahead to the passport line while I got the visas. But there was a small problem with Kerith's passport - it had no more free pages in it that were usable for visas. The agent directed me to follow him to another agent, who led me into a holding room. I was too far away from Diana to explain what was going on, but I just told her, and I believed, that it was a minor matter that they just had to figure out how to resolve. I motioned for her to just stay in line, and let one person at a time go ahead of her so she would always be in front.

The officer (by the name of Rizky) came and sat with me and asked if I understood the situation. His next question set us on a bad start: was it OK if they just left Kerith outside Indonesia? Hardly, I explained; we're talking about a little boy, and we're talking about a 2 week visit.

The problem was that when Russian immigration officials had given him his residency permit (which is written by hand), they messed his up, and so they just wrote through it MISTAKE, and started over on another page. So he had fewer pages than the other kids. I carefully explained that he could just cover that page, or he was welcome to use another pages dedicated to endorsements (whatever that is) which we never use. Well, neither of those options suited him, as he could (apparently) get in big trouble for using the wrong page. Who would get him in trouble seemed to change. At first, it was Russia. I laughed at the thought and carefully explained that they would never look for a page that didn't need to exist. Then he said that the US could come back and complain (I knocked that one down too), but he settled on Indonesia as his final answer. He could get in trouble with them (who, his supervisors?) if they saw that he used the wrong page. And the fine for such a thing would be over $2500 (25,000,000RP).

I saw where this was going, so I started playing dumb and slowing things down as much as possible. Ironically, although Russia is considered among the most corrupt countries in the world, I have never experienced the option of solving my problems through bribery there, so I was flying by the seat of my pants.

Rizky: I am taking a big chance here, but I can help you if you help me.
Me: I sure don't want you to get in trouble. What can I do to help protect you?
Rizky: I can talk to my supervisor if you can give me some money.
Me: Money? I have no money.
R: We have an ATM.
Me: Maybe we can write a letter together?
R: Need money. Don't you understand?
Me: No, I don't. (I go into all the options for stamping the passport again.)
R: (slowly going through the passport again. I can tell he is wavering. This is becoming too much work, and I'm a pretty sad case. I pray feverishly for God to open that door wider) It's too risky.
Me: (wondering what happens to the risk in the presence of money) How much are we talking? You need $2500?
R: No, just enough to make agreement with my supervisor.
Me: How much?
R: You agree, and I go talk numbers with him.
Me: (starting to falter) Is $100 enough?
R: That's not even close.
Me: (looking pained, troubled, and confused)
R: You don't understand?
Me: No.
R: I don't understand either (implied: I don't understand why you are such an idiot that you don't get what I'm trying to do here.)
[Supervisor steps in.]
S: Is it our problem that you didn't check your passport before coming here?
Me: You changed your laws, and none of my contacts knew about it, so we had to get another visa last week for a 5 hour stay.
S: That's not my problem. Look, none of us will have any problems if we just let you all leave the country.
Me: Let me talk with my wife (I've kept her in line all this time, not wanting to have to stress her out over this, but I don't see an out yet.)
R: You need your wife's approval to spend money?
Me: We do everything by agreement.
R: You can't do this without her?
Me: No can do. Let me bring her in.
R: OK.

Diana decides to bring all the kids in and leave the line. She tells him about the person here to pick us up. He perks up at the knowledge that she is Indonesian, so he gives us his phone. We get Memey, our main contact person, on the phone, who starts to negotiate with Rizky. A ray of hope. They agree to have Lita, the one there to pick us up, come talk with him. Honestly, I don't think I could have done this without Diana's strength. She was amazingly placid and determined to see this through.

For some reason, this takes another 20 minutes. Meanwhile, Rizky has nothing better to do, and he starts playing Connect 4 with Simon. The Supervisor comes in and brings us all water and offers to buy us food. He comes back later with hot dogs and fries for all the kids. Bizarre. I step into the adjacent room to pray. Whereas the holding room we were in was small with chair railing covered in burns from cigarettes, this room is much larger, dim, and empty, except for a desk and portraits of the President and Vice-Presidents of Indonesia. My prayer was essentially this:

"All authority belongs to you, Lord, so these guys ultimately answer to you. I want to preserve integrity in this situation, rather than playing into their scheme, but I have no idea how, so I'll just rely on Your authority to resolve this."

The Presidents didn't seem to mind me there, but Lydia was afraid because I was praying loudly, and she didn't want any bugs to pick it up, so I agreed to take my prayers undercover.

Finally, Lita arrives. For some reason, she knows nothing of Memey's negotiations, so we are back to square one, and she doesn't get very far. Diana has the idea of calling the US Embassy, and not only does she have the number on her, but she actually gets a real person. It's Saturday at 9:30pm.

I explained to John, the on-duty guy, the situation, and he asked to speak to Rizky. The pohone changed hands several times, and along the way I found out that John actually had never heard of this happening and had no idea what to do. All he could say was, 'If this guy is trying to shake you down, then we have an issue here. I'll be sure to look him up on Monday." I eventually suggested that John give him the authority, from the US government, to put the visa on the endorsement page (which I have since learned doesn't have to be a big deal). John's response was, "hey, whatever I can do to be of help." I passed the phone one last time, and they struck a deal. Both took down each other's contact information to hold them accountable.

They took Diana and I into their war room and photographed and fingerprinted each of us. Rizky then gave us a warning about taking care of this problem and not doing this to them again. I responded graciously, adding, "That would be risky for Rizky, wouldn't it?" He smiled.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Yucky trip, hopeful trip

We arrived today in Langkawi, Malaysia, for our missions once-every-four-years worldwide conference. There must be some great things in store, because I would hate to have experienced what we did to get here in vain:
  • 5 flights over 44 hours
  • having to completely start over, rechecking all our luggage 4 of the 5 times
  • kids at times in tears from exhaustion
  • a crisis at almost every step:
  • the 1st flight was so delayed we feared we'd miss the connection
  • the 2nd flight was in jeopardy from the fact that we couldn't produce the credit card I used to buy the flight a few months ago before it was stolen. Finally a nice supervisor intervened.
  • after the 3rd flight we had to pay $125 for visas since we would be in the country for 5 hour, one hour longer than the maximum allowed without.
  • between getting visas and getting through passport control, it took us 2.5 hours to just get in the country (Indonesia), eating precious time out of our brief respite in a hotel (which a kind anonymous to us person paid for. We lay down at 1:15am, and had to get up at 3:45.
  • our 4th flight was tainted by the fear that we had just found out that we would likely not make our 5th flight, as the airline didn't think we had allowed enough time to transfer, even though booked it thinking that doing so between the same airline in the same terminal was safe in one hour. But no, they don't check the bags through. We'd have to get them all and start over.
  • when we arrived, with 55 minutes to spare, I sprinted ahead of the family, passing a couple hundred people walking to passport control and made it first in line. Then I ran to the other end of the terminal and checked into the next flight, hoping that they would hold on for the rest of the family since I was there. The lady was nice but told me that the computer would close down check-in automatically in 10 minutes - a half hour out from the flight. I ran all the way backwards through customs to baggage claim, where the rest of the family was waiting for the baggage (they had run past most of the 200 people too), just now starting to come out. I then sent all of them ahead to sprint to check-in, while I waited for the baggage. I then piled all 9 bags up on a cart and made the journey across the airport a 3rd time alone, literally threw all the bags through the electronic scanning machine, re-piled the cart, and ran across the hall with it to check-in, where the agent was waiting for me.
Jesus is good. We are here. We laughed; cried. And so expectations are high for this week. It's beautiful here. Pics later.

Friday, July 9, 2010

A local adoption woe

I've had an amazing number of letters responding to my recent newsletter on the crisis in Russian adoptions. As I've written back sometimes, it's a blessing that God is bringing these issues to the surface so that His Body can cry out for a breakthrough.

Here is one of these letters, which I thought I would post, since it is from a family who actually adopted from the very orphanage that is near our apartment, where we all (especially Diana) have volunteered.

Thank you so much for writing these insights and your progress, as we so much appreciate it. We continue to pray for you. We, like so many, adopted our daughter from Orphanage 46 ten years ago. Sadly we have had the same issues and all the adoptive parents from our church have experienced similar issues. Ours recently ended with our daughter running away on her 18th birthday, just 7 weeks ago. We showered her with Godly love, with many late nights of crying and instruction, and many attempts toward Godly counseling. Our family was subjected to her daily lies, deceit, and she was more than just a strong willed child. We observed many dangerous and destructive behaviors. The sneaking around on the internet (outside of our home) and what she did on it was the biggest struggle. She could be anyone she wanted and seek attention. We love her so much, but now she is in a situation where the people she is staying with do not understand her behaviors, her distructive tendancies, and the daily communication and accountability she needs. Please pray for us. The terrible lies, the pictures we see of her that are not even close to being appropriate, and the many things she has done....is not nearly as hurtful as her comments such as, "It's okay they are not my real parents anyway...and I never really loved them anyways." We know God has a plan for our daughter, but we are struggling to see his purpose right now, as we believe she is in a unsafe situation, but the people she is staying with have cut off all communication with us. We are praying for her safety, that God would reveal Himself to her, and would show her the love that she needs so desparately in her life. Although there were so many ups and downs over the past 10 years with our daughter, we truly continue to love her. Please pray for her, us, and we will continue praying for your ministry and that the bondage of sin on these children will be broken.

If that doesn't motivate us to press on, then I don't know what will.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Renovating with Yuri

I went with Yuri today to his house to finally see this place he has been so feverishly working on for the last several weeks. What's an orphan doing with a house, you ask? Don't be so hasty. This is the house (duplex) that he, his sister, and mother lived in before the family was broken up. It's been abandoned for 10 years, though, after a fire left it unlivable. Now his mother lives elsewhere, and after his hazing incident at the dorm, Yuri is keen to reclaim that territory for his own again.

The setting is really pleasant - well beyond the city limits, in a residential setting with single family homes with gardens and rolling hills. His home is wooden with 2 rooms and a kitchen (would that I had taken my camera), and it's a bad as you could imagine after being neglected for so long. Yuri has been a hero, putting in countless hours cleaning and fixing it up, but it's a huge job, and it was hard for me to be excited about it, since it's not like it's going to look all that great (given the poor quality it was built in) when it's done since he has so little to put into it.

On the way there we stopped at a trash heap where he often goes to look for glass for his windows and other goods. No luck today. Our time at the home was spent on spackling walls that have no prayer of ever being straight and Yuri putting wall paper over them. Russians hardly ever paint, and one reason is that they have so much to cover over that it would never look good to do so. The key is really thick wall paper, and he has done a nice job under the circumstances. In fact, I'm proud of him. Then we worked on the entrance way, taking off eight layers of former wall paper. Yuri estimates the age of the home at 40 years, and with 10 years empty, that's quite a track record!

He hopes to be able to move in in a month, but beyond the walls, there is no electricity, water, sinks, or toilets in there. But he's my hero for his tenacity and vision. I just wanted to give some moral support to my young mentee. It was good male bonding time.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Restoration House

Something I've always liked doing is getting out in the community to meet new (to me) ministries. I don't do nearly enough, but I have extra motivation with my new role at MIR. Just Monday, I found out about a ministry well outside the city that serves much the same population as the Harbor - post orphanage graduates, yet not really the same kinds of kids at all. There are three levels of orphanage graduates.
  1. High functioning kids take care of themselves (a tiny minority).
  2. The Harbor targets the middle strata, able to function at a minimal level, with some motivation to thrive in life. These are the kids I have worked most with to date.
  3. Restoration House goes for the kids who end up on the streets because they have failed to navigate the challenges of life after the orphanage.
We are talking about highly dysfunctional kids, who have NO independent living skills, who usually (maybe even always) live on the streets, and who usually are addicted to something, most likely sniffing, which causes permanent brain damage in a way that no other drug does.

I spent several hours with Olga (left) who founded Restoration House (pictured above) and runs it to this day. What was most encouraging about their work (beyond the incredible devotion and sacrifices the staff live out) is the openness they report these kids have to the gospel. In contrast to the average kid at the Harbor, these kids seem to have a greater sense of their need for God, for help, for transformation, and they seem to be more in touch with spiritual world.

Olga had two requests of me: they are desperately seeking a camp where they can take the kids this July when a team from Oklahoma is coming to help lead. There are a lot of camps around, but they are all booked or too expensive. Already I could help by putting them in touch with the contact person at MIR's Camp Elama, which she had never heard of.
Her second request was for a space in the city for kids to gather for a Bible study. I was frankly amazed to think that these youth would actually want to attend a Bible study, despite what she had explained above, but the other issue is their palpable need for relationship and love.

I'll get on that.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Dorm life ain't no party

Yuri showed up for his weekly visit the other day. Only he didn't look well: two black eyes that proved a violent confrontation had befallen him. He had just that day come out of the hospital after nearly a week there! The reason: a couple of fellow students had come to pay him a visit and ask to play his guitar. When he refused, they put him in his place, as it were - beating him for an hour and a half! He didn't go to the hospital until the next day, and never called us!

Boy, was I in for an education. What Yuri experienced is called дедовщина (dyedovshina), a term normally reserved for the way new army recruits are hazed by the older cadets. It turns out it's also practiced (according to Luba at the Harbor) in 98% of all male dorms, and 97% of even female dorms. This from a research proposal I found online (through Google translation):

Dorms, to some extent, became the main feature of the "socialist way of life", they formed a special subculture, which has many varieties. It is not only criminal subculture gulag barracks, but also a subculture of communal dormitory and "great construction projects of communism", a subculture in a secure dorm limitchik urban subculture of military barracks, barracks for the temporary accommodation of agricultural seasonal workers, a subculture of student dormitory, etc. During the years of Soviet power grew, and brought up more than one generation of people who had no hearth and home, past and communal dormitories, having learned their language, customs, values, norms of behavior, the twisted psychology of interpersonal and intergroup relations.

Dorms have always been a zone of high crime rates, special kinds of immoral behavior (alcoholism, drug addiction, substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, profanity, etc.). This applies to vocational school dorms. With the crisis experienced by our society, the decline in the economy, with increasing migration, decline in living standards for people subculture hostel PTU (vocational schools) has a strong further advance in the direction of criminalization. Overcoming the effects of this particular subculture on the behavior of individuals and groups, its decriminalization, the formation of humanistic subculture of young people living in dormitories PTU - these are tasks that must be addressed.

So did Yuri go to the police? No way. He explained that since these guys had a record, they would be arrested, and then their friends (they are from the Caucuses where nationalist loyalties are really high) would come and possibly kill him. The dorm "commander" found out about the incident, but Yuri told her that everything is OK. She knew the deal, and told him not to be afraid. Somehow she has the bullies under threat without jeopardizing Yuri's safety either. Thankfully, she cared enough to intervene.

Luba told me that they had warned Yuri when he left the Harbor a year ago about this kind of thing. As a weak guy with no experience in defending himself (having grown up in a Christian orphanage), he was a rather poor candidate for going to such an environment. But he insisted. Wanted his independence and a free place to stay. I guess we should be amazed he lasted this long! Pray for his safety. If this continues, he will have to consider leaving not only the dorm, but school altogether, as he would have to go earn a living to pay for a place to stay. Diana and I would likely offer our place if there were no other options.

Friday, April 23, 2010

First day on the job

As I reported recently, I've been asked to serve on the board of a local ministry, MIR, who serves other ministries in the city be providing administrative services, program help, and connections with Western volunteers. Here is a summary of my first day (April 20th) going in to see how I could help:

I met first with Tanya, the coordinator of a program that they do with a ministry called New Horizons to provide host families for orphans for a month in the states. I had no ideas initially what I wanted to know from Tanya, so I just asked questions and followed my curiosity. What came out was that getting permission from orphanage directors and the related organs of authority is getting more and more complicated, so she would love to see more help making those connections. OK. File that away.

I then met with the executive director, Masha Oshkina, to follow my curiosity some for the same purpose. It happened that one of the leaders of New Horizons was there in the office at the time, being in the country to adopt a child himself. She introduced us, and I started peppering him with questions about them and how they work, and what they need. Come to find out they could place more kids in host homes (done in the summer and the winter) if there were more kids available. "Could you front some of that money to free up staff to find more kids?" He wanted to know how much. I gave him a monthly figure, and he thought it was do-able. "Give us a proposal, and I'll check on it meanwhile," he answered.

Masha, Tanya, and I had ourselves a project. Now, this was not a complicated deal I made, but what I want to point out are a few key elements here:
  1. For some reason, this had never occurred to anyone else.This is a gift of our American culture - thinking outside the box. Masha and her husband (who is developing this project and will run it) actually do think creatively, I might add. They are proving a delight to work with.
  2. Even if they had thought of it, the idea of so aggressively putting it into a proposal like I did sometimes doesn't happen. Plus, as the recipients of such help, they can feel in the lower position (though Westerners don't want them to feel this way, and I'm not saying they did in this case).
  3. Although this isn't that formal a process, the Americans need the proposal in a form that addresses their needs and concerns. Americans have a specific way they want proposals to look, and it just takes some learning. Masha and Tanya immediately went to work and put together some great reports, and then I helped them understand what is wanted from the other side. I have a lot of experience in grant writing and grant reviewing, so...
  4. This was pretty much a God day, confirming that He has sent me in this direction.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

CMU Russia?

Out of the blue I got an email in the states asking me to join the board of a ministry in Petersburg that I have known about and respected since we got here. MIR, the Russian word for "peace" and also an acronym for "Mercy and Joy," is actually a lot like my old ministry in Richmond, Christian Ministries United. Both served as a link between ministries and the community at large, and churches in particular. Both sought to serve their partners, rather than do direct ministry. MIR, however, only works with ministries who are focused on orphans and children in need. MIR does a lot of work administratively for its partners, and it organizes a lot of short-term mission teams from the states to serve in orphanages and other ministries.

I told the director I wasn't interested in filling a slot, and he told me he is actually looking to step down soon and needs fresh vision and direction. That's my middle name. I'm just praying now for God to move me, rather than my own ideas, because I already have a million ideas of how I can serve these ministries and help them work together to bless the community.

Yep, I'm excited.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Now Horizons in Children's Ministry

I wrote this praise report to my intercessory team this week:

I hope I can communicate to you the level of excitement I feel at this moment. First some background. While we were on furlough, I attended a conference. Picked up a book that looked good for my kids. Went to the web site for the author and had some questions, so I called. The author himself answered (Mike Seth). He got excited about our ministry and gave me the names of two women who had been to the Ukraine with an interest in doing some innovative ministry to orphans. All three of us seemed to feel an immediate connection. One of the two happened to live in GA and she and her husband invited us over for dinner.

We bonded instantly, and an idea came up immediately (I think it was Diana's) because we knew that our agency was scrambling to find a team to come serve our children during our worldwide conference this summer in Malaysia. Long story short - their team now has all but final (formal) approval to come serve our (about 150) missionary kids.

Why am I excited? First, as you see from the above, all these connections were too amazing to not see God's hand. Second, I can't remember when I have ever in my life proposed anything significant to my superiors that they adopted. I think my ideas have always been too radical. I guess this is a pat on the back from God, saying "you're not so crazy after all, son." And it affirms that I am a part of a great organization.

Third, and most importantly, the ministry itself is amazing. It's called "No More Crumbs" based on the premise that children's ministry does not have to be about merely giving them simple Bible stories, crafts, and Jesus Loves Me. They believe that kids can know God personally at an early age and relate to Him as a loving Father. They believe that kids can gain a deep sense of identity and purpose from God. They believe that kids can learn to pray and worship with depth and passion. They believe that you don't have to just tag along with your parents; you can be a part of God's team today! They believe that kids can minister powerfully to other kids out of this place of intimacy with the Father. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Therefore, fourth, my kids are going to have a great experience that could impact them for life. And fifth, all these other missionary kids are going to get powerfully ministered to. That, I believe, is high leverage ministry. When you minister to the ministers, you get to impact everyone they impact. When you help the kids survive in the mission field, the whole family survives. In a word, this news is a big setback for the kingdom of darkness.

Here is a teaching from one of the leaders, Jenni Means, who will be working with our kids in Malaysia:

Ключи к приобретению надежды и исцеления (Wisdom and Revelation; Keys to Hope and Healing) from CoMission for Children at Risk on Vimeo.

I say "New Horizons" because this kind of stuff gets me more interested in direct ministry with children than I have been in a long time. Before I moved to Virginia in 1994, I worked exclusively with kids, through everything from camp counseling and outdoor education to ESL teaching and working with delinquent youth. Is God pushing me back to pick up an old refrain?

Monday, March 15, 2010

The Orphan Spirit

The following is a transcript of the message I gave to my home church in Georgia just before we left to return to Russia last month. It represents an important development in my thinking about why we are hear - not merely to minister to the orphans, but to the orphan spirit that drives it and so much else of what is wrong in Russia.

I want to try to make our ministry as plain and simple to you today as I possibly can, because on the surface we are involved in a number of different activities. Some people think we are just involved in ministry to orphans. This is actually not true. What we are doing is asking God to use us to reverse the orphan spirit which is so pervasive in Russia. What, you ask, is an orphan spirit? I’m glad you asked, and here is my working definition: An orphan spirit is type of a spirit of fear that comes from not knowing and trusting in the Father’s protection, provision, and direction.

What does this look like in Russia? Let me give you a few quotes from some research conducted back in the 1990's to help Christian workers from the West understand the Russian soul:

"Though the third millennium is on our threshold, our country still remains a teenager, compared to the countries of the West; and adolescent whose childhood and adolescence were devoid of most things essential for normal development and who stepped into his adulthood, messy, bloody, and distorted, inadequately prepared for his vital functions there."

"...many Russians approach life like adults who were abandoned or abused as children."

"Russians seem to experience shame (rather than guilt) as a core issue.... It's not just that I have failed or done something wrong in my life. I, myself, my whole being is irreparably flawed. I am hopelessly defective."

"On the whole, Russians surveyed in all age groups have shown that they look at God as an abstract concept. He appears unknowable, enigmatic, and mysterious. Most Russians tend to see him as remote and unwilling to intervene in the terrible events that have happened to them. His involvement is more that of a Celestial Judge who dispenses rewards and punishments to those below. They are like children who have been beaten and cover when approaching the master or parent, not knowing when the next blow will fall."

[from: An Introduction to the Russian Soul. Ennis and Rinehart]

It’s a spirit that affects all of us to some extent, but those with no biological fathers, and, worse, those with bad biological fathers, whether through abuse or neglect, are particularly susceptible. Some have questioned our patriotism, since I have been critical of the direction this country is taking. But I want to say to you that it doesn’t take long living in most any other country, but especially one like Russia, to see that the blessings that the United States enjoys because of its Christian roots is undeniable. On the whole, we take care of the fatherless in this country. In fact, there are essentially no orphanages here, because of the societal value we place on taking care of our children, and so we have foster homes instead. Not that we don’t have our share of problems with our system, but compared to other societies, we care.

In Russia, on the other hand, they don’t adopt, and they don’t even take kids into their homes in any significant numbers. It’s just not a cultural value, which means that the biblical value of caring for the “stranger, the widow, and the fatherless” has not penetrated their thinking.

And why should we be surprised? Only .9% of Russians are considered to have an evangelical faith, so even though they all got religion in the 1990’s when the Soviet Union fell, in most cases it only went skin deep. Compare that to 7% of evangelicals in the US. At first blush that may not seem like a huge difference, and it certainly is far from our glory days after the Great Awakenings of the 18th and 19thcenturies, but it only takes a 2% minority to change the course of the entire population.

So one of our key verses for our ministry is from Malachi: “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse." The way I read that verse, the attitude of a father is so foundational to a society, that the land itself suffers when that relationship is broken. Moreover, God so cares for the ones ignored by their fathers, that He holds society responsible for it.

The number of real orphans are as high or higher in Russia than at any time wince WW2. Annually, 130,000 children become orphans, 90% of whom are not true orphans without parents, but social orphans – rejected or taken away from their parents for various reasons.

If we think about it, the real issue is not that these children don’t have parents to raise them. What’s more important than a parent? The answer is, a parent’s love. It’s the lack of love that comes from not having parents that damages these kids. So these kids learn an orphan spirit, because they are rejected. What comes with that spirit? A fear that they will not be protected, provided for, or guided in life. And the system puts out 10,000 “graduates” per year. Leaving high school 8500 of these fall into drug dealing, prostitution, other crimes, and homelessness. 500 commit suicide. That’s a 90% failure rate that the orphanages have in preparing these kids for life.

Now think about those issues from the perspective of the orphan. What is their thought process?
  • I have to be a criminal because no one loves me enough to provide for me.
  • I sell my body because no one values me for who I am.
  • I have to kill myself because no one thinks I am worthy of their time, care, or investment.

The system that generates such a result is from the pit of Hell and must be fought by every godly means possible. What that should look like deserves its own message, but my focus today is on the lie that these kids believe about who they are as a result of this rejection by society. For we know that there is One who loves them with a perfect, perpetual, and purposeful love. Receiving that love is so powerful, that it can literally wipe away the most damaging aspects of not having a parent who provides those values.

This is why ministry to orphans has any meaning at all. For if all we are about is feeding their physical needs while ignoring the cry of the heart to know the One to Whom they belong, then we are only prolonging the pain. (This one truth alone is enough to negate Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.) All our service to these dear ones must be an expression of the Father’s love seeking to adopt those who are lost into His family. Jesus said that “Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father,” and our ministry is no less significant: we are to show the Father’s love in everything we do.

I want Diana to come up now to tell one story of a child she has spent a lot of time with to overcome his own sense of rejection as a orphan.

[Diana]

And so the Harbor is a ministry we work with to serve some of these kids coming out of the system so that they can be spared the fate of the 90% of graduates nationwide by giving them a home, people serving in place of parents who model the father’s love, and show them that they have a hope and a future because they are His children.

My training of the staff at the Harbor is meant to fight the orphan spirit, both in the residents, and in the staff themselves. A true father is not interested in right behavior. Vadim is a great commander. He knows how to get those kids in line, and he does it with the love of Christ. But he doesn’t know how to reach the hearts of the kids. What separates a commander from a father is the heart of the shepherd. Since Russia is plagued generally with an orphan spirit,
a spirit of fear that comes from not knowing and trusting in the Father’s protection, provision, and direction, and
it affects even Christians. So my focus in working with the staff is helping them move from raising young adults with the right behavior to shepherding their hearts with the Father’s love, which means getting a true revelation of that love themselves.

Yuri is a young man we met through the Harbor who never knew his father. His mother completely neglected him, and he ended up for a season begging on the streets and at the train station before ending up in an orphanage. He comes to us to see a real family in action, warts in all, and God has given me access to his heart to help father him to become a good husband and father one day. He observes us carefully, and he asks good questions, especially in the context of his own relationships, so that he can learn and grow. Everyone needs a mentor like this. Think back on those who took the most personal interest in you, who really invested themselves in you. Weren’t they among the most important people in your life? Mentoring is virtually unheard of in Russia, though, because of fatherlessness, both spiritual and literal.

Likewise, my work in the community with pastors and other leaders (and potential leaders) is not about teaching them what they need to know to lead, or even teaching them how good leaders act, but rather teaching them what it means to have the heart of a leader, which is the heart of a father. For I believe that all organizations and all government ultimately derive their mandate from that of the family. Steward and shepherd the resources and the people in your care (it’s not one or the other) and God will provide the increase. This, too, is a huge subject worthy of attention.

At the church we attend, the leadership has given me the opportunity to speak into the life of the congregation, and my questions are always about how we care for and invest in the members so that they can connect with God’s heart for them and their calling in Christ. Whether I’m asking about how we follow up with visitors or how we train small group leaders, I’m always driving at the need to father people over a lifetime so that they grow continually and never fall through the cracks as spiritual orphans.

Leaders need fathering as much as do the rank and file. Our work with the leaders of the school our boys attend is a tremendously rewarding part of our ministry, because they are so hungry to be fed and nurtured in their ability to shepherd the kids in their care. I want Diana to come back and talk about Tanya, who is so thirsty for such attention that she has asked Diana to mentor her in any way and any direction that Diana chooses.

[Diana]

An orphan spirit can infect a person for life unless you come to Father God for a heart change. Drunkenness is a national epidemic that I believe is directly a reflection of an orphan spirit, and our kids got an early and harsh education in the reality of what alcohol can do to a person. One elderly man who lives in the house next door to us, named Valery, is someone we have had to see suffer the demonic effects of alcohol time and time again. And because the kids are outside so much, they have developed a relationship with him, and a burden for him. I want Lydia to come up now and share about how she has been given the Father’s heart for Valery.

[Lydia] - shared her experience with our neighbor Valery, and beautifully tied it in to the theme of the orphan spirit.

St. Frances says to preach the Gospel all the time, and sometimes use words. I hope you can picture Lydia hand in hand with Valery. She, who should be the daughter figure, can nonetheless represent the heart of God the Father to this man, but she prays often for an opportunity one day to share that love using words too.

Where do we want to go in the next season? We have some wonderful opportunities at our door: helping other ministries serve orphans, doing some direct work with orphans, training leaders in the city and across Russia who need to learn to lead with a father’s heart, and helping to train counselors to break the orphan spirit off of Russians. What will tie them all together is our commitment to learn how to serve more and more as a family, and to raise up fathers of fathers of fathers willing to let God use them to change a nation.